Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

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For Your Enjoyment…Psychological Test Questions That Make as Much Sense as the Real Ones

Filed under: MMPI-2, Psychological testing, Psychologists, Raving lunatics, custody evaluations — justice4mothers @ 4:07 pm

I found this post while doing research, and all I could do is laugh my butt off.  It is a parody…but the questions aren’t that far off from the real MMPI-2 questions.  So for your enjoyment:

Thursday, September 23, 2004

New MMPI-3

The “Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory” is an important psychological personality test. It has been through some major revisions in its time, and just recently they released the latest version. In case you ever need to prove you are not crazy, it would be nice to know some of the questions, eh? Now, for your test-taking pleasure, i present to you…

“Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory – 3rd revision”

Please indicate TRUE or FALSE next to each of the following statements:

[True False] When I was younger, I used to tease vegetables.

[True False] Sometimes I am unable to prevent clean thoughts from entering my mind.

[True False] The sight of blood no longer excites me.

[True False] I think beavers work too hard.

[True False] It is important to wash your hands before washing your hands.

[True False] Recently I have been getting shorter.

[True False] When I walk quickly, I can feel my legs moving.

[True False] When I was a child, I was an imaginary playmate.

[True False] I believe I smell as good as most people.

[True False] As a child, I used to wet the ceiling.

[True False] When I grow up I want to be a child.

[True False] Sometimes I feel that things are real.

[True False] I have many enemies who secretly love me.

[True False] I think I would like the work of a robot.

[True False] As a youngster, I was suspended from school for attending.

[True False] It makes me furious to see an innocent man escape the chair.

[True False] I think I would like the work of a hummingbird.

[True False] My tongue has been depressed.

[True False] It makes me angry to have people bury me.

[True False] People tell me one thing one day and out the other.

[True False] I am easily awakened by the firing of cannons.

[True False] I can wear my shirts as pants.

[True False] I feel as much like I did yesterday as I do today.

[True False] I always lick the fronts of postage stamps.

[True False] When I smile, people apologize.

[True False] It is hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room full of mice.

[True False] I never liked room temperature.

[True False] I line my pockets with hot cheese.

[True False] I can smell my nose hairs.

[True False] My dog is someone else’s best friend.

[True False] Walls impede my progress.

[True False] My toes are numbered.

[True False] My best friend is a social worker.

[True False] No napkin is sanitary enough for me.

[True False] I’ve lost all sensation in my shirt.

[True False] It takes a lot of argument to convince most people that they are lying.

[True False] I try to steal other people’s thoughts and ideas when they are not looking.

[True False] I was not very strict with my parents.

[True False] My sex life is satisfactory, except when I am with another person.

[True False] I get nervous when I handle $100,000 bills.

[True False] Most of the time I don’t like to read newspaper articles about nuclear accidents nearby.

[True False] I often dream of Kate Smith.

[True False] I like to put chameleons on plaid cloth.

[True False] I am liked by most people unless they know me.

[True False] I believe I am following others.

[True False] I don’t like any of my loved ones.

[True False] I salivate at the sight of mittens.

[True False] I’d rather go to work than sit outside.

[True False] As an infant, I had very few hobbies.

[True False] Some people look at me.

[True False] I often use the word “feh”.

[True False] Sometimes I steal objects like medicine balls and aviaries.

[True False] I become homicidal when people try to reason with me.

[True False] I never seem to finish whatever I