http://www.buddalelaw.com/

Hi!  I'm Bud.  Welcome to the Law Offices of Bud Dale website!  The Law Offices of Bud Dale emphasize finding child-focused and family-focused solutions in family law cases. After more than twenty years as a psychologist, I studied law in order to make a difference in the lives of children and families involved in the legal system.  I graduated from Washburn University School of Law, earning certificates in family law (with distinction) and advocacy. I learned a lot.  Let me put what I know about the law, children and families to work for you in your family law case.  Whether it is a divorce or separation, a parenting time or visitation dispute, an adoption, or something else regarding the best interests of your child, I can help.

Courtrooms and other parts of any legal process can be scary, but they don't have to be.  Most family law cases are settled outside of court in ways that allow you to make choices and maximize your input in any outcome. Anxieties about the future, concerns about your children, and fears about finances and property are just a few of the challenges you may face. With my legal clients, I am an educator about the law and see my value as intimately connected to my ability to explain the law as applied to your situation.  You are in charge of your case.  As your attorney, I'll be there to see to it that your choices are well-informed and, if necessary, to vigorously defend them. 

I'm glad you found my website.  Take a look around my site and others.  Compare.  Be discriminating and think critically.  Look for an attorney who will listen.  Look for an attorney who will explain.  And, if you think I might be the right attorney for you and your case, call and set up a consultation.  The initial consultation is free.   Call.  Let's talk.   Bud

This website is a resource for the clients and friends of The Law Offices of Bud Dale.  Nothing contained in this site creates an attorney-client relationship with anyone.  For a Consultation, call our offices at 785-267-0025 or contact us via email at buddalelaw@aol.com.

In Bud Dale’s OWN WORDS Courtesy of TheLizLibrary Psychology in Family Court

CUSTODY EVALUATORS
AND  PARENTING COORDINATORS
IN THEIR OWN WORDS

A Topeka Kansas Evaluation: Teaching the mother to NOT REPORT sexual or physical Abuse: As Ordered by the Courts;

by Dr. Milford “Bud” Dale.

9. For example, the below commenting MHP — who has been a parenting coordinator (“case manager”) on at least one case known to the author in which a severely battered woman lost custody of her daughter to the abusive father,and who regularly performs custody evaluations as well — appears oblivious to the impact of MHP fees (which typically are divided equally between the parents) on a parent with substantially lower income than the other:

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “If you want the parents to cooperate, why not add a provision that they must go back to mediation or to a parent coordinator if they cannot come to an agreement. As long as the mediator or parent coordinator changes a reasonable fee, the financial incentives for the parents to cooperate is maintained (assuming each wants to avoid paying a mediator or parent coordinator) and there is a solution for persistent disagreements that is fair…” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, October 24, 2005).

More examples:

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…I never said that financial issues aren’t relevant – of course there are parents who use their children for financial gain. What I said was that I’m not qualified to examine a parent’s tax returns…” (California doctorate-level MHP, November 24, 2005).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…issues of child support are totally separate from custody and parenting time determinations. Yet in one case… the attorney continually referenced the fact that I was ‘failing to consider and give weight’ to the fact that the father was $20,000 behind in child support… Fortunately, my appointment letter addressed that my role was separate from the financial issues… Indeed, I had not failed to give weight to the financial issues. I had totally ignored and disregarded them all along – because that’s what I was required to do by law. Some attorneys will attempt to backdoor this issue; that is, they will claim that the child support arrearage represents a character flaw or defect – which might or might not be true. By the way, researching the literature about how fathers get so behind in child support yields some interesting claims on both sides of the issue.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, February 12, 2006).

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…issues of child support are totally separate from custody and parenting time determinations. Yet in one case… the attorney continually referenced the fact that I was ‘failing to consider and give weight’ to the fact that the father was $20,000 behind in child support… Fortunately, my appointment letter addressed that my role was separate from the financial issues… Indeed, I had not failed to give weight to the financial issues. I had totally ignored and disregarded them all along – because that’s what I was required to do by law. Some attorneys will attempt to backdoor this issue; that is, they will claim that the child support arrearage represents a character flaw or defect – which might or might not be true. By the way, researching the literature about how fathers get so behind in child support yields some interesting claims on both sides of the issue.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, February 12, 2006).

72.The reason for this has been decades of MHP lobbying and propagandizing to the legislatures and legal community.

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE CALL TO ARMS]: “There is a new bill in the California state legislature which will be of some interest and concern to all of us who do custody evaluations, especially California psychologists. The bill prohibits the use of psychological testing in custody evaluations unless the court grants “a motion for a mental or psychological examination of a parent only for good cause shown…” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…The legislator is sponsoring this bill on behalf of women’s rights groups, who think that parental alienation is diagnosed too frequently through the use of psychological testing…” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “This bill appears to prohibit considerably more than psych testing… “Controversial, nonscientific labels, such as parental alienation syndrome, parental alienation, or alienated child, are specifically excluded as allowable diagnoses and for court use.” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I am responding from a strategic and tactical point of view. In addition to being a forensic psychologist, doing CCE, I am also legislative chair of the Florida Psychological Association. In my experience…” (Florida doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I’ll go ahead and forward this to her if that’s ok with you.  the annual Legislative and Advocacy day is coming up mid-March, altho I’m guessing they’ve already selected the legislation they want psychologists to discuss with legislators… do you know how far along this bill is in the legislative process… I think CPA’s stand in general is to strongly oppose any bill that limits psychologists’ scope of practice…” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “Perhaps a letter from those of us who write and teach about use of psychological tests in CCEs might be useful?…” (North Carolina doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I agree also and think a letter from professionals that know testing is a great idea.  It seems that if the legislature wants to “do something”  perhaps advocating for  required continuing education of so many hours in order to allow people to use the tests…” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).

115. http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/index.html#myths-and-facts

116. As is usually recognized by the MHP, e.g. Pickar, supra, note 66b, but only when convenient or desired. Compare the following. The first two commentators are uninterested in acknowledging past financial issues that have wreaked family havoc, and arguably bear on character as well as explain motives and feelings of the parties; the third is interested in supporting a father’s request to relocate, and so believes that it is within his province to gather and analyze data about prospective financial matters:

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “Tax returns?? Simple issues like one parent claimed 4 kids and there are only two, I can probably figure that out and that speaks to honesty and maybe tracking reality. But I agree that we should not be analyzing tax issues. If it is that complex I can’t think how that would be relevant to custody/parenting issues. If it is, both parent provide information and you hire a tax consultant to review it. I can’t imagine what could be relevant… I have a case right now where there are federal indictments on one parent to the tune of over 1/2 millions and all kinds of issues around money. Very little of it is relevant (except possible prison and honesty) and the other parent wants to make it all relevant. She brought me a notebook of financial records. That’s about her anger about the money – which is relevant to know how angry she is at dad and how that affects her children.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, November 23, 2005).

124. For an example of how background might influence the MHP’s investigation, perceptions and conclusions, see Lisa D. Cromer & Jennifer J. Freyd, What Influences Believing Child Sexual Abuse Disclosures? The roles of depicted memory persistence, participant gender, trauma history, and sexism, 31 Psych. Women Q. 1 (2007). From the abstract: “Men believed abuse reports less than did women, and people who had not experienced trauma were less likely to believe trauma reports. Gender and personal history interacted such that trauma history did not impact women’s judgments but did impact men’s judgments. Men with a trauma history responded similarly to women with or without a trauma history. High sexism predicted lower judgments of an event being abusive. Hostile sexism was negatively correlated with believing abuse disclosures.” The study at the University of Oregon found that “young men who have never been traumatized are the least likely population to believe a person’s recounting of child sexual abuse.” (News release, Believing child sexual abuse claims, U. Or. Univ. News, February 13, 2007, at http://www.uoregon.edu/newsstory.php?a=2.13.07-disbelievers.html)

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE PRECURSOR]: “I just haven’t noticed higher abilities in hypothesis testing among psychologists or other mental health professionals. I realize that you have to take a couple of courses in research and statistics to get a graduate degree (in most fields). It doesn’t seem to translate into skills in decision-making across the board. E.g. the recent thread on the Kansas custody evaluation and Virginia side trip. Some very off thinking and relevant point missing.
One might take arguments similar to that you have made and point out that psychologists just aren’t trained as investigators when it comes to obtaining information outside of psychological data (police officers are better.) And that lawyers are better trained at issue spotting and weighing information. And that judges have more experience decision-making.
I also point out that mental health training does not provide actual information and experience relevant to many of the issues that ought to be considered in a custody determination. For example, the financial aspects. For example, educational opportunities. For example, what it’s like to actually be a parent with day-in and day-out responsibility for children, how the home is run, the pragmatics of life. An unwed childless 28-year-old Ph.D. just out of school probably hasn’t a clue — and I for one see this lack influencing unworkable recommendations.
I also point out that skill in testing and coming up with psychological diagnoses does not qualify anyone ipso facto to translate that into parenting ability or even to understand with what kind of or which parent a child’s best interests is most likely to be fostered. There is very little translating dsm diagnoses into parenting abilities and child outcomes, especially when neither parent is perfect and foibles and personality defects have to be weighed…” (liz, May 2, 2005).

124. For an example of how background might influence the MHP’s investigation, perceptions and conclusions, see Lisa D. Cromer & Jennifer J. Freyd, What Influences Believing Child Sexual Abuse Disclosures? The roles of depicted memory persistence, participant gender, trauma history, and sexism, 31 Psych. Women Q. 1 (2007). From the abstract: “Men believed abuse reports less than did women, and people who had not experienced trauma were less likely to believe trauma reports. Gender and personal history interacted such that trauma history did not impact women’s judgments but did impact men’s judgments. Men with a trauma history responded similarly to women with or without a trauma history. High sexism predicted lower judgments of an event being abusive. Hostile sexism was negatively correlated with believing abuse disclosures.” The study at the University of Oregon found that “young men who have never been traumatized are the least likely population to believe a person’s recounting of child sexual abuse.” (News release, Believing child sexual abuse claims, U. Or. Univ. News, February 13, 2007, at http://www.uoregon.edu/newsstory.php?a=2.13.07-disbelievers.html)

125. [ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE QUERY]: “My 8 year old son is complaining a lot about being bored in school, to the point it seems to be affecting his overall happiness… I experienced similar problems throughout elementary and high school.. Will talk with the school but am seeking ideas to help him cope…” (Doctorate-level MHP father, April 21, 2005).

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “While such “purity balls” are not something that I and my daughters (ages 14 and 12 next week) have ever or would ever participate in, I can indeed tell you that as a father I feel a desire to help protect my daughters from predators and even poor choices on their part.” (Idaho doctorate-level MHP father, April 19, 2006).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I asked my stepdaughter what stores my granddaughter likes… One of the stores she mentioned was Victoria’s Secret. Why would a high school junior want to buy anything in Victoria’s secret? Has it changed in terms of what it sells? I know they all like to dress like streetwalkers, but this is ridiculous.” (Minnesota masters-level MHP mother, February 28, 2005).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “School is important for kids… why not look and take the time to get good data from people who see them more than we do? And who see them sometimes more than their parents do. I’m going to stop now and call my son’s school. Seems there is an academic counselor… who is helping my son with sending emails to college soccer coaches. She’s helping my son and deserves my support… the students at school call this counselor, “Momma.” And I know why. Aren’t some kids just luckier than others?” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP father, May 10, 2005).

…When There Still Isn’t Enough Work, Doing Trainings for Everyone (especially those that push make-work ideas) and Reviewing Other MHPs

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I do CCEs and I function as a court-appointed “Case Manager” in Kansas. Kansas calls parent coordinators “Case Managers” to avoid confusion – lol. I have also twice attended AFCC sponsored training on parent coordination. The Colorado group (Christie Coates, Robert LaCrosse, And Betsy Duvall) did a 2 day training in St. Louis in November, 2003, and Joan Kelly did a 2 day training in Chicago in June 2004. Both of these training programs emphasize the “Divorce Impasse” Model that Janet Johnston put together. This is a model that I find helps in CCEs and parent coordination/case management. The second AFCC task force has just completed its task of developing model standards for parent coordinators (See AFCC website or request backchannel)…” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, May 16, 2005).

“Do a Bonding Assessment”

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I do not know of a research based protocol for a ‘bonding assessment.’ It seems the folks that do them around here do an observation of touching, smiling, eye contact, warm interactions etc which are good and important and look at basic needs and are they met. I was wondering if there are protocols that are considered ‘standard of care’ and or are reseach based.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, January 14, 2007.)

For more about the GREAT Dr. Milford “Bud” Dale please visit the following links.

http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/therapeutic-jurisprudence/index.html

http://washburnlaw.edu/news/2009/2009-03cflc-horizons.php

The ‘EXPERTS’ of child trafficking profiteering, Topeka, Lawrence, Kansas John Spiridigliozzi, Ph.D  and Bud Dale,Ph.D., J.D.,

Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody

Home > News > 2005 > Bud Dale Discusses Child Custody Evaluationshttp://www.washburnlaw.edu/news/2005/2005-02flss-dale.php

Bud Dale Discusses Child Custody Evaluations

Dr. Bud Dale, a clinical psychologist who trained at Harvard Medical School and the Menninger Foundation where he worked for eight years, met with family law students over lunch on February 28, 2005 to discuss the use of child custody evaluations in contested custody cases.

Dale explained how attorneys who represent parent clients can work with the custody evaluator. Rather than trying to discredit or attack the evaluation once it is completed, the better approach is for lawyers to prepare their clients for the evaluation and help frame the scope of the examination.

Dale also distinguished between the forensic and clinical models of evaluation. He further illustrated the differences between the role of the custody evaluator and that of the therapist, parent coordinator, or case manager.

In Bud Dale’s OWN WORDS Courtesy of TheLizLibrary Psychology in Family Court

CUSTODY EVALUATORS
AND  PARENTING COORDINATORS
IN THEIR OWN WORDS

A Topeka Kansas Evaluation: Teaching the mother to NOT REPORT sexual or physical Abuse: As Ordered by the Courts;

by Dr. Milford “Bud” Dale.

9. For example, the below commenting MHP — who has been a parenting coordinator (“case manager”) on at least one case known to the author in which a severely battered woman lost custody of her daughter to the abusive father,and who regularly performs custody evaluations as well — appears oblivious to the impact of MHP fees (which typically are divided equally between the parents) on a parent with substantially lower income than the other:

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “If you want the parents to cooperate, why not add a provision that they must go back to mediation or to a parent coordinator if they cannot come to an agreement. As long as the mediator or parent coordinator changes a reasonable fee, the financial incentives for the parents to cooperate is maintained (assuming each wants to avoid paying a mediator or parent coordinator) and there is a solution for persistent disagreements that is fair…” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, October 24, 2005).

More examples:

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…I never said that financial issues aren’t relevant – of course there are parents who use their children for financial gain. What I said was that I’m not qualified to examine a parent’s tax returns…” (California doctorate-level MHP, November 24, 2005).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…issues of child support are totally separate from custody and parenting time determinations. Yet in one case… the attorney continually referenced the fact that I was ‘failing to consider and give weight’ to the fact that the father was $20,000 behind in child support… Fortunately, my appointment letter addressed that my role was separate from the financial issues… Indeed, I had not failed to give weight to the financial issues. I had totally ignored and disregarded them all along – because that’s what I was required to do by law. Some attorneys will attempt to backdoor this issue; that is, they will claim that the child support arrearage represents a character flaw or defect – which might or might not be true. By the way, researching the literature about how fathers get so behind in child support yields some interesting claims on both sides of the issue.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, February 12, 2006).

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…issues of child support are totally separate from custody and parenting time determinations. Yet in one case… the attorney continually referenced the fact that I was ‘failing to consider and give weight’ to the fact that the father was $20,000 behind in child support… Fortunately, my appointment letter addressed that my role was separate from the financial issues… Indeed, I had not failed to give weight to the financial issues. I had totally ignored and disregarded them all along – because that’s what I was required to do by law. Some attorneys will attempt to backdoor this issue; that is, they will claim that the child support arrearage represents a character flaw or defect – which might or might not be true. By the way, researching the literature about how fathers get so behind in child support yields some interesting claims on both sides of the issue.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, February 12, 2006).

72.The reason for this has been decades of MHP lobbying and propagandizing to the legislatures and legal community.

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE CALL TO ARMS]: “There is a new bill in the California state legislature which will be of some interest and concern to all of us who do custody evaluations, especially California psychologists. The bill prohibits the use of psychological testing in custody evaluations unless the court grants “a motion for a mental or psychological examination of a parent only for good cause shown…” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “…The legislator is sponsoring this bill on behalf of women’s rights groups, who think that parental alienation is diagnosed too frequently through the use of psychological testing…” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “This bill appears to prohibit considerably more than psych testing… “Controversial, nonscientific labels, such as parental alienation syndrome, parental alienation, or alienated child, are specifically excluded as allowable diagnoses and for court use.” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I am responding from a strategic and tactical point of view. In addition to being a forensic psychologist, doing CCE, I am also legislative chair of the Florida Psychological Association. In my experience…” (Florida doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I’ll go ahead and forward this to her if that’s ok with you.  the annual Legislative and Advocacy day is coming up mid-March, altho I’m guessing they’ve already selected the legislation they want psychologists to discuss with legislators… do you know how far along this bill is in the legislative process… I think CPA’s stand in general is to strongly oppose any bill that limits psychologists’ scope of practice…” (California doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “Perhaps a letter from those of us who write and teach about use of psychological tests in CCEs might be useful?…” (North Carolina doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I agree also and think a letter from professionals that know testing is a great idea.  It seems that if the legislature wants to “do something”  perhaps advocating for  required continuing education of so many hours in order to allow people to use the tests…” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, February 23, 2007).

115. http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/index.html#myths-and-facts

116. As is usually recognized by the MHP, e.g. Pickar, supra, note 66b, but only when convenient or desired. Compare the following. The first two commentators are uninterested in acknowledging past financial issues that have wreaked family havoc, and arguably bear on character as well as explain motives and feelings of the parties; the third is interested in supporting a father’s request to relocate, and so believes that it is within his province to gather and analyze data about prospective financial matters:

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “Tax returns?? Simple issues like one parent claimed 4 kids and there are only two, I can probably figure that out and that speaks to honesty and maybe tracking reality. But I agree that we should not be analyzing tax issues. If it is that complex I can’t think how that would be relevant to custody/parenting issues. If it is, both parent provide information and you hire a tax consultant to review it. I can’t imagine what could be relevant… I have a case right now where there are federal indictments on one parent to the tune of over 1/2 millions and all kinds of issues around money. Very little of it is relevant (except possible prison and honesty) and the other parent wants to make it all relevant. She brought me a notebook of financial records. That’s about her anger about the money – which is relevant to know how angry she is at dad and how that affects her children.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, November 23, 2005).

124. For an example of how background might influence the MHP’s investigation, perceptions and conclusions, see Lisa D. Cromer & Jennifer J. Freyd, What Influences Believing Child Sexual Abuse Disclosures? The roles of depicted memory persistence, participant gender, trauma history, and sexism, 31 Psych. Women Q. 1 (2007). From the abstract: “Men believed abuse reports less than did women, and people who had not experienced trauma were less likely to believe trauma reports. Gender and personal history interacted such that trauma history did not impact women’s judgments but did impact men’s judgments. Men with a trauma history responded similarly to women with or without a trauma history. High sexism predicted lower judgments of an event being abusive. Hostile sexism was negatively correlated with believing abuse disclosures.” The study at the University of Oregon found that “young men who have never been traumatized are the least likely population to believe a person’s recounting of child sexual abuse.” (News release, Believing child sexual abuse claims, U. Or. Univ. News, February 13, 2007, at http://www.uoregon.edu/newsstory.php?a=2.13.07-disbelievers.html)

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE PRECURSOR]: “I just haven’t noticed higher abilities in hypothesis testing among psychologists or other mental health professionals. I realize that you have to take a couple of courses in research and statistics to get a graduate degree (in most fields). It doesn’t seem to translate into skills in decision-making across the board. E.g. the recent thread on the Kansas custody evaluation and Virginia side trip. Some very off thinking and relevant point missing.
One might take arguments similar to that you have made and point out that psychologists just aren’t trained as investigators when it comes to obtaining information outside of psychological data (police officers are better.) And that lawyers are better trained at issue spotting and weighing information. And that judges have more experience decision-making.
I also point out that mental health training does not provide actual information and experience relevant to many of the issues that ought to be considered in a custody determination. For example, the financial aspects. For example, educational opportunities. For example, what it’s like to actually be a parent with day-in and day-out responsibility for children, how the home is run, the pragmatics of life. An unwed childless 28-year-old Ph.D. just out of school probably hasn’t a clue — and I for one see this lack influencing unworkable recommendations.
I also point out that skill in testing and coming up with psychological diagnoses does not qualify anyone ipso facto to translate that into parenting ability or even to understand with what kind of or which parent a child’s best interests is most likely to be fostered. There is very little translating dsm diagnoses into parenting abilities and child outcomes, especially when neither parent is perfect and foibles and personality defects have to be weighed…” (liz, May 2, 2005).

124. For an example of how background might influence the MHP’s investigation, perceptions and conclusions, see Lisa D. Cromer & Jennifer J. Freyd, What Influences Believing Child Sexual Abuse Disclosures? The roles of depicted memory persistence, participant gender, trauma history, and sexism, 31 Psych. Women Q. 1 (2007). From the abstract: “Men believed abuse reports less than did women, and people who had not experienced trauma were less likely to believe trauma reports. Gender and personal history interacted such that trauma history did not impact women’s judgments but did impact men’s judgments. Men with a trauma history responded similarly to women with or without a trauma history. High sexism predicted lower judgments of an event being abusive. Hostile sexism was negatively correlated with believing abuse disclosures.” The study at the University of Oregon found that “young men who have never been traumatized are the least likely population to believe a person’s recounting of child sexual abuse.” (News release, Believing child sexual abuse claims, U. Or. Univ. News, February 13, 2007, at http://www.uoregon.edu/newsstory.php?a=2.13.07-disbelievers.html)

125. [ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE QUERY]: “My 8 year old son is complaining a lot about being bored in school, to the point it seems to be affecting his overall happiness… I experienced similar problems throughout elementary and high school.. Will talk with the school but am seeking ideas to help him cope…” (Doctorate-level MHP father, April 21, 2005).

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “While such “purity balls” are not something that I and my daughters (ages 14 and 12 next week) have ever or would ever participate in, I can indeed tell you that as a father I feel a desire to help protect my daughters from predators and even poor choices on their part.” (Idaho doctorate-level MHP father, April 19, 2006).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I asked my stepdaughter what stores my granddaughter likes… One of the stores she mentioned was Victoria’s Secret. Why would a high school junior want to buy anything in Victoria’s secret? Has it changed in terms of what it sells? I know they all like to dress like streetwalkers, but this is ridiculous.” (Minnesota masters-level MHP mother, February 28, 2005).
[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “School is important for kids… why not look and take the time to get good data from people who see them more than we do? And who see them sometimes more than their parents do. I’m going to stop now and call my son’s school. Seems there is an academic counselor… who is helping my son with sending emails to college soccer coaches. She’s helping my son and deserves my support… the students at school call this counselor, “Momma.” And I know why. Aren’t some kids just luckier than others?” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP father, May 10, 2005).

…When There Still Isn’t Enough Work, Doing Trainings for Everyone (especially those that push make-work ideas) and Reviewing Other MHPs

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I do CCEs and I function as a court-appointed “Case Manager” in Kansas. Kansas calls parent coordinators “Case Managers” to avoid confusion – lol. I have also twice attended AFCC sponsored training on parent coordination. The Colorado group (Christie Coates, Robert LaCrosse, And Betsy Duvall) did a 2 day training in St. Louis in November, 2003, and Joan Kelly did a 2 day training in Chicago in June 2004. Both of these training programs emphasize the “Divorce Impasse” Model that Janet Johnston put together. This is a model that I find helps in CCEs and parent coordination/case management. The second AFCC task force has just completed its task of developing model standards for parent coordinators (See AFCC website or request backchannel)…” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, May 16, 2005).

“Do a Bonding Assessment”

[ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: “I do not know of a research based protocol for a ‘bonding assessment.’ It seems the folks that do them around here do an observation of touching, smiling, eye contact, warm interactions etc which are good and important and look at basic needs and are they met. I was wondering if there are protocols that are considered ‘standard of care’ and or are reseach based.” (Kansas doctorate-level MHP, January 14, 2007.)

For more about the GREAT Dr. Milford “Bud” Dale please visit the following links.

http://www.thelizlibrary.org/site-index/site-index-frame.html#soulhttp://www.thelizlibrary.org/therapeutic-jurisprudence/index.html

http://washburnlaw.edu/news/2009/2009-03cflc-horizons.php

Spiridigliozzi & Dale, LLC $*ker-ching*$

Really we should set up another Blog for Spiridigliozzi (we will soon—So many Court whores who profit from the blood of children)

See: Family Courts Helping Pedophiles and Batterers Get Custody, by Peter Jamison http://www.sfweekly.com/2011-03-02/news/family-court-parental-alienation-syndrome-richard-gardner-pedophilia-domestic-violence-child-abuse-judges-divorce/

One at a time *ker-ching* as the death counts rise—So do the Profit$ $$ in these type of ‘legal child trafficking rings’ pockets. This one is just another KANSAS CHILD CUSTODY EVALUATION PROFITEER.

We must Eliminate Therapeutic Jurisprudence from the court rooms. Courtesy TheLizLibrary.org

..

CUSTODY EVALUATORS
AND PARENTING COORDINATORS
IN THEIR OWN WORDS

http://www.spiridigliozzi-dale.com/Bud-Dale-PhD-JD.html

Dr. Dale is a founding member of Spiridigliozzi & Dale, LLC.  In addition to his clinical therapy practice with children, teenagers, and families, Bud specializes in evaluations spanning a broad range of civil and criminal cases.   He conducts child custody and parenting evaluations, clinical and competence to stand trial evaluations of juveniles and adults, and clinical and risk assessment evaluations of sex offenders. 

Bud provides expert witness testimony related to his forensic reports.  He also provides consultation to attorneys upon review of reports by other mental health experts, testimony based upon these reviews, and litigation preparation for attorneys conducting examination and cross-examination.                                                                                                     

Bud has been a licensed Ph.D. psychologist in Kansas for more than twenty years.            

View Bud's Vita

He earned a B.A. in Psychology at Westminster College in Fulton, Missouri, and a M.A.

and Ph.D. in Clinical Child and Developmental Psychology at The Ohio State University            

in Columbus, Ohio.  After a one-year Predoctoral Internship in Clinical Child Psychology at McLean Hospital and Harvard Medical School in Boston, he completed a two-year Post-Doctoral Fellowship in Clinical Psychology as a Child Fellow at the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kansas.  During eight years at Menninger as a Staff Psychologist, he directed an inpatient unit for children, designed and directed the Adolescent Transitional Program, and designed and directed the Child & Adolescent Day Treatment Center.  Bud's clinical practice website is:  www.buddale.com.

Bud is also a licensed attorney in Kansas.  He graduated from Washburn University School of Law with certificates in family law (with distinction) and advocacy.  He maintains a law practice with a family law emphasis in Topeka,  Kansas.   The website address for his law practice is:  www.buddalelaw.com.

Bud is also a Kansas Supreme Court-approved mediator, serves as a court-appointed domestic case manager, and is a co-leader of

Horizons, Solutions for Change Co-Parenting Program

Horizons, an award-winning, court-sponsored psycho educational program for children and parents in high conflict families. 

http://www.washburnlaw.edu/centers/children/horizons/index.php

Horizons, Solutions for Change Co-Parenting Program

About Horizons

Horizons, Solutions for Change is a non-profit, self-sustaining parenting program available to residents of Topeka-Shawnee County, Kansas and neighboring communities. A nominal fee supports the purchase of course materials and courthouse security. Referrals to the program come from judges, attorneys, therapists, schools or parents who wish to attend.

For further information, to make a referral, or to volunteer, contact: Sheri Keller (Specializes in taking Battered Mothers Children and Giving them to the Abuser- See the Claudine Dombrowski case)

 Sheri Keller Protecting Abuser Hal Richardson

Supervisor of Domestic Court Services
Shawnee County District Court Services
(785) 233-8200, ext. 4504
SKeller@shawneecourt.org

• Local Issues (Americans For Prosperity and Kansas Judges) Now Hal Richardson isn't exactly going to win any father awards this year for this, and his criminal record keeps growing (Battery, Attempted Battery, Battery of a Law Enforcement Officer, Obstruction of Legal Process, Possession of Marijuana and violation of Open Container law.)www.patrioticthunder.com/localissues.html

• The Manhattan Free Press On Line To Claudine Dombrowski it is not beautiful, that is her daughter, six-year-old Rikki on the couch behind the threatening coffee table. If a coffin coffee table ...
  www.kansas.net/~freepress/7-12-01-8.html

• Claudine Dombrowski Photos of Abuse | Stop Family Violence There is a crisis in our nation's family courts. Judges are awarding child custody to abusers and pedophiles and punishing the safe parent who tries to ...
  www.stopfamilyviolence.org/pages/308

• Breaking the Silence; Children's Stories'-American Mothers ...Claudine Dombrowski has been selected to be among a host of honored presenters at the upcoming Battered Mothers Custody Conference. ...
  www.angelfury.org

• Youtube Claudine Dombrowski videos

Washburn Law Volunteers

Professor Linda Elrod regularly volunteers and contributes to the success of the Horizons program by making a presentation at the "first" group session. At these sessions she discusses the history of domestic law in Kansas and shares her own personal passion, philosophy and expertise in the area of parents placing children's issues paramount in their lives when choosing to divorce. Professor Elrod is passionate in her belief that high conflict is the number one factor affecting the long-term well-being of children of divorce.

Other Washburn Law volunteers for the Horizon Program include:

• Melinda Wicks and Daniel Heinz (Mindy and Dan are current volunteers and happy to answer questions about their work with the program).
• Milfred "Bud" Dale, JD '09, PhD and Lauren Douglass, JD '09 (see story). http://www.washburnlaw.edu/news/2009/2009-03cflc-horizons.php

Home > News > 2009 > Horizons Program

Washburn Law Students Active in Horizons Program

Dr. Milfred "Bud" Dale, Ph.D., and Lauren S. Douglass, third-year students who are part of the Children and Family Law Center, have been actively involved in the Horizons, Solutions for Change program in the Shawnee County District Court. This court sponsored 12-week educational program designed for high conflict divorced/never married parents provides parents with the tools to reduce their conflict.

Bud Dale, a child psychologist, has co-facilitated the adult program since 2007. Parents meet twice a month in group sessions which use a variety of educational materials and activities. Sheri Keller, the court service officer who started the program in 2006 said of Bud, "His knowledge and expertise in the area of emotional behavior and the impact of conflict on children is astounding. His 'tough-minded' approach, therapeutic skills and experience demand that parents to think outside the box and to take a personal inventory of what they bring to perpetuating the conflict in their families." Keller also appreciates his support in encouraging her to continue to "take on" these tough families and high conflict cases. The community benefits greatly from his volunteerism.

There is a Horizons For Kids Program for children between 5 and 17. The children are encouraged to express themselves through art work which is displayed on the third floor of the Shawnee County Courthouse. Lauren Douglass began volunteering at the program's inception in January 2007 and has been a "stable pillar" of the program. Keller states, "Lauren's interactions with the children have been truly amazing. The children enjoy working with a younger adult who understands and relates to them." In addition to giving her time and talents, Douglass has recruited other law students to help with the program.

Keller also noted that Professor Linda Elrod has contributed to the success of the Horizons program by speaking at practically every "first" group session. She not only shares the history of domestic law in Kansas but also her own personal philosophy and expertise. Professor Elrod is passionate in her belief that "high conflict is the number one factor negatively affecting the long-term well-being of children" and encourages parents to place their children's needs above their own wants.

Dr. Bud Dale, third-year law student; Mindy Wicks, first-year law student; Joyce Marcum, licensed specialist clinical social worker with Stonestreet and Assoc.; Lauren Douglass, third-year law student; and Sheri Keller, project coordinator, have been actively involved in the Horizons, Solutions for Change program in the Shawnee County District Court. The court-sponsored program designed for high conflict divorced/never married parents provides parents with the tools to reduce their conflict.

Posted April 1, 2009.

What a coincidence... or perhaps not—being that NAMBLA (batterers and Pedophiles) are the only supporters for Parental Alienation Syndrome-- (as this shuts up the victims) see: Family Courts Helping Pedophiles and Batterers Get Custody, by Peter Jamison http://www.sfweekly.com/2011-03-02/news/family-court-parental-alienation-syndrome-richard-gardner-pedophilia-domestic-violence-child-abuse-judges-divorce/

Pedophile Pride Day is the same day as Parental Alienation Syndrome Awareness Day, coming up on April 25, 2011

http://www.paawarenessday.com/

Alice Day is April 25th, WATCH YOUR CHILDREN

A.K.A Pedophile Pride Day

By Linda Crystal

It's called Alice Day, named after Alice Liddell and "Alice In Wonderland", originally Pedophile Pride Day. There is a whole story circulating the net that this holiday was named after the story that we all love so much.

Wow, show you what twisted minds will do. This holiday for pedophiles is this upcoming week. On this holiday the pedophiles celebrate, rape and molestation of little girls. It is okay to celebrate by "loving" a female child that day.

Ugh, how disgusting is this, that we live in a society that allows this sick animals to go around saying these things about our loved ones.

April is also Child Abuse Awareness Month according to this site as well. "April is Child Abuse Awareness month and coincidentally (or karmically), it is also the month in which child rapists/molesters/"lovers" reserve for their special "it's okay to sexually assault children" day - "Alice Day." Alice Day is to sexual predators of children what Christmas is to Christians.

April 25th is Sunday. Please watch your children. This is the best defense against any predator out there. They are looking for latch key kids, kids neglected, kids from chemically abused parents, single parents, kids without rules.

Pink is NOT the color you want to dress your girls in either. Pink is their attraction, so do not dress your little girls in pink. Predators love colors that are sexual like pink, reds, oranges.

This is good news regarding pornography:
MICHAEL GORMLEY, Associated Press Writer 
ALBANY, N.Y. - Internet providers Verizon, Sprint and Time Warner Cable have agreed to block access to child pornography and eliminate the material from their servers, New York's attorney general said Tuesday.

http://tuecaa.wordpress.com/2009/07/07/pedophile-symbols-and-codes-an-update/
Pedophile Symbols and Codes. You need to see this.

• A heart within a heart, or "GLogo" "GirlLover" is used by pedophiles attracted to girls. The heart in a heart, to them, represents a adult/ female child relationship.
• A blue spiral-shaped triangle symbol, or "BLogo" "BoyLover", symbolizes a boy (small triangle) surrounded by an older male (larger triangle)- and is meant to show adult/male child relationships.
• The butterfly CLogo a.k.a. "ChildLover" (commonly looks like four touching hearts) in pink/blue represents non-preferential gender pedophiles (girl or boy attracted, often both).
• The yin-yang looking circle is CGlogo, used in reference to the website, Common Ground, which was created as a place for both girl and boy attracted pedophiles to meet and sympathize with each other.
• The pink/blue triangles is "AmaroSymbol" is a variation of the CGLogo.

There are many ways pedophiles and sexual predators will celebrate today:

1. Find activities in their area involving children - such as parties, park outings, sporting events
- They will watch the children, photograph the children, and attempt to have a BM or GM, which stands for "Boy Moment" and "Girl Moment". This includes a conversation with the child, in which they could gain information to get to the child at a later date. However, this could also include just sitting back watching a particular child at play.

They appraise a child's form as if it were that of a stripper in a club, and they write the moment down later for their friends - online and in real life - with added feelings of desire they had while exploring the child's body with their eyes and filthy mind.

Please keep in mind that a child does not have to be nude or in a bathing suit to be visualized that way by these people. They are sick enough to imagine that for themselves.

2. Seek victims for themselves - either through the first option or by riding around looking for easy targets: children walking alone, children playing outside with no supervision, children wandering in a store with an inattentive parent... I don't have to tell you the rest as "victim" says it all.

3. Seek victims for others - through option 1 as well as option 2. The information they attain through their Boy or Girl moment is not always kept to themselves, especially on Alice Day. They get that information and share it to their pedophilia ring friends so that others will have a chance at acquiring a victim at a later date. The children they snare also often become shared sexual toys for themselves as well as others in their group.Al this information came from The Ultimate Evil Website. Everyone needs to read this website and know and understand what child abuse is all about. It is located at the link above, pedophile symbols and codes.

A lot of times, the person acquiring this information isn't even a pedophile, themselves. They are just in it for the money from the sales of the photos and information that a pedophile and child predator can use to get their target.

Also remember that men are not the only perpetrators. Women make up a small percentage of sexual predators and abusers, but they DO exist. Even so far as to pimp out their own children for drugs or other selfish reasons.

I'm sure you're wondering what can be done to spot or stop these people. You can't very well go accusing every person you see in a public venue of being a sexual predator, nor should you be paranoid. Just careful.

It's always better safe than sorry, but there is always common sense.

For instance: if you see a lone person with no children sitting nearby staring at the children at play, it's a pretty good chance he's there for less than honorable reasons. Particularly if he/she has a camera and no credentials to any claim of being a reporter - which should also be questioned and dealt with as any parent would by calling the editor of his paper to check his story should he say this.

If you are quite certain you've spotted someone with ulterior, twisted motives for watching your child or others at play, call the police immediately. Confrontation with a group of concerned parents also works. No violence is necessary as these people fear being caught at their private game and will quickly vacate the area. You also send a strong message that your children are protected and NOT easy targets!

ALWAYS teach children not to talk to strangers.
ALWAYS teach children to never give personal information to a stranger.
ALWAYS teach children to never give the information of another child to a stranger.
ALWAYS teach children to scream, "NO!" and "STRANGER!" very loudly if they encounter someone asking questions or trying to get them to come with them.
ALWAYS teach children to use a secret or safe word or password and to NEVER tell ANYONE, not even their friends, what this word is.People that want tto take photos of your children are especially suspicious. Teach your childen to watch for these types of people. They prey on the innocence of a child.

I know from experience and studying these creeps that they do in fact ride around looking for prey. They are predators. The child that is alone at the park is in trouble. Have your children use the buddy system. My previous article on "What Sexual Predators Don't Want You To Know"

Texting Codes Parents Should Know

Let's face it the kids are out texting us. We need to know what they are saying. Here is a list from The Ultimate Evil website against child abuse, just in case predators text our children. We need to know what these guys and our kids are saying. This is not for modest people. This is 2010, the language is rough. Then there is sexting. Yes sexting. Kids are having sex on the phone these days. Below is a list of codes for all of us parents to know what is being said to our children, especially if they are predators. Predators are always at a child's level and knows everything about children so they can communicate with them. There are many I have never seen before in my life. It reminds me of when we all learned pig latin. Now I am showing my age. However sexting is far more dangerous in the hands of kids. I know that I gave my grand children phones to be safe, but are they?

5 = High Five
121 = One to one 
143 = I love you
182 = I hate you
2moro = Tomorrow 
2nite = Tonight
411 = Information
420 = Marijuana
459 = I love you
4NR = Foreigner
4Q = Fuck you 
8 = oral sex
86 = Get rid of
9 = Parent is watching 
99 = Parent is no longer watching

A3 = Anyplace, anytime anywhere
AAF = As A Friend
ACORN = A Completely Obsessive Really Nutty Person
ADR = Address
AEAP = As Early As Possible 
AFAP = As Far As Possible
AIGHT = Allright
AITR = Adult In The Room 
AMAP = As Much As Possible 
AML = All My Love
AMRMTYFTS = All my roommates thank you for the show
A/S/L - age, sex, locationBJ = Blow job 
BOB = Battery Operated Boyfriend
BZ = Busy
BRB = Be right back
BTW = Back to work

CICYHW = Can I copy your homework
CM = Call me
C-P = Sleepy
C/S = Change subject
COS = Change of subject
CBJ = Covered blow job 
CD9 = Code 9, parents are around
CRB = Come right back
CRBT = Crying really big tears
CT = Can't talk
CTC = Care to chat?
CU = See you
CUL8R = See you later
CUNS = See you in school
CUOL = See you online
CYE = Check your e-mail
CYO = See you online
CYT = See you tomorrowDF = Dear friend
DGA = Don't go anywhere
DH = Dear husband 
DW = Dear wife 
DIKU = Do I know you? 
DL = Down Low (texts) Download (in context of attachments)
DLTM = Don't lie to me 
DNBL8 = Do not be late
DOC = Drug of choice 
DOE = Depends on experience 
DP = Domestic partner 
DUM = Do you masturbate? 
DURS = Damn you are sexy

DUSL = Do you scream loud? 
DWB = Don't write back 
DWPKOTL = Deep wet passionate kiss on the lips
DYHAB = Do you have a boyfriend 
DYHAG = Do you have a girlfriend

EMA = E-mail address
EML = E-mail me later
EMSG = E-mail message

F2F = Face to face 
FAB = Features Attributes Benefits
FB = Fuck buddy
FILF = Father I'd like to fuck
FMLTWIA = Fuck me like the whore I am
FMUTA = Fuck me up the ass
FOAF = Friend of a friend
FTF = Face to face 
FWB = Friends with benefits
FYF = From your friend

GTG = Got to go
G2G = Got to go
GAP = Got a pic? (pic = picture)
GBH = Great Big Hug
GF = Girlfriend 
GLBT = Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender 
GLG = Good looking girl 
GLB = Good looking boy 
GNOC = Get naked on cam 
GOS = Gay or straight 
GUD = Geographically undesirable 
GYPO - get your pants off

H&K = Hugs and kisses
H4Y = Hot for you
HBIB = Hot but inappropriate boy

I&I = Intercourse and Inebriation 
IBTC = Itty bitty titty committee
IDK = I don't know
IF/IB = In the front or in the back
IIT = Is it tight?
ILF/MD = I love female/male dominance
ILU = I love you
ILY = I love you
IRL = In real life 
IWSN - i want sex now 
ITS - intense text sex 
IWALU = I will always love you

J/O = Jacking off

KFU = kisses for you 
KFY = Kiss for you 
K4Y = Kiss for you
kitty = Vagina 
KK = Kiss kiss 
KOTC = Kiss on the cheek
KOTL = Kiss on the lips 
KPC - keep parents clueless 
KWSTA = Kiss with serious tongue action

L8R = Later
LB? = Like bondage?
LDR = Long distance relationship
LF = Let's fuck (pedophile lingo would be Little Friend)
LHOS - Let's have online sex 
LHSO = Let's have sex online 
LKITR = Little kid in the room
LOL = Laugh out loud/lots of laughs/lots of love
LMAO = Laugh my ass off
LMFAO = Laugh my f*cking ass off
LMIRL - Let's meet in real life 
LTTIC = Look the teacher is coming 
LUSM = Love you so much
LY = Love you
LY4E = Love you forever 
LYWAMH = Love you with all my heart

MA = Mature audience
MILF = Mother I'd like to fuck
MIRL = Meet in real life
MorF = Male or Female 
MOOS = Member of opposite sex 
MOSS = Member of same sex 
MOS = Mom over shoulder 
MPFB = My personal fuck buddy 
MSNUW = Mini-skirt no underwear 
MTLA = My true love always 
MUAH or MWAH = *it's the sound of a kiss*
MUSM = Miss you so much

NP = Nosy parents
N/T = No text 
NIFOC = Nude in front of computer 
NRN = No reply necessary

OLL = Online love
OMG = Oh my god
OMFG = Oh my fucking god

P = Partner
P&C = Private and confidential 
POS = Parents over shoulder 
PIR = Parents in room 
P911 = Parent alert 
PA = Parent alert 
PAW = Parents are watching 
PAL = Parents are listening 
PBB = Parent behind back
PHAT = Pretty hot and tempting 
PLOS = Parent looking over shoulder 
POM = Parent over my shoulder 
PRON = Porn 
pr0n = Porn (with a number 0 for O)
PRW = Parents are watching

QT = Cutie Q2C = Quick to cum

RL = Real life 
RLF = Real life friend
RNN = Reply not necessary
ROFL = Roll on floor laughing
ROTFL = Roll on the floor laughing
ROFLMAO = Roll on floor laughing my ass off
RPG = Roll playing games
RU? = Are you? 
RU/18 = Are you over 18?

STFU = Shut the fuck up

TTYL = Talk to you later
TTFN = Tata for now
TAW = Teachers are watching
TDTM = Talk dirty to me
TM = Trust Me
TMI = Too much information
TT = Big tease
TYVM = Thank you very much

U = You
U UP? = Are you up?
UR = You are or Your

WTF = What the fuck
WYFM = Will you fuck me? 
WYRN = What's your real name 
WYCM = Will you call me

XOX = Kiss Hug Kiss
XTC = Ecstacy

Y = Yes or Why?
YDKM = You don't know me 
YIWGP = Yes, I will go private
YW = You're welcome

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

"Age Sex Location" translates to: "I want to know if you fit my age of attraction, if you are the gender I want, and where you live so I can find you" when texted by a predator. It's okay to tell the age and if you're a female or male - this establishes evidence if a predator later claims not to know he/she was talking to a minor. But it is NO ONE'S business where you live. If you want to state the country, that's fine, but not even naming a state is okay.

"Change subject/No text/No reply necessary" can be used to signal the other person that they are being watched.

"Come right back" or terms like "What took you so long?" or anything that makes the child feel rushed or obligated to respond is a warning sign of control, either by a predator or a peer. They should know they are under NO obligation to text/IM/E-mail anyone at any time, unless it is their parents. Anyone who makes them feel they have to report in should be left alone and exposed to parents or teachers immediately. This is a very unhealthy, controlling relationship. Even if it's just a friend.

"Dear Friend" is not acceptable for an adult to tell a child. "Dear Wife/Husband" when said by a teen is a warning sign of a relationship that has gotten way out of hand, particularly if it is with an adult.

"DL" Down low means keep it secret/private. Downloading is a dangerous thing to do with people someone doesn't know or trust. Kids should always know the risks involved in downloading something from another person, particularly someone they only know online. These can contain viruses, Trojans, worms, or even unsolicited pornography. Any of this activity can be brought the attention of law enforcement, particularly if anyone sends your child or teen a nude photograph - wanted or not, which can be considered a felony (depending upon the circumstances and evidence, plea bargaining etc...) when it is from an adult to a minor. (See Sexting for more of my thoughts on teen - to - teen behavior.)

"Do you masturbate/scream loud?" and any other personal questions regarding sex are no one's business! Teens should understand that no one has the right to inquire such things, and if they do, they are to be ignored immediately and reported to a parent, teacher, and ultimately the police, whether the sender is known or not. Such questions are geared toward having a sexual relationship, and should be viewed as a serious threat.

"Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?" when asked by a stranger online is intrusive and should be ignored. "I'm sorry but that's really none of your business," would be the appropriate response. A teen may think it's innocent curiosity, but they do not know who is asking that question. It is highly inappropriate for an adult to inquire that of a minor who they do not know, and if this is an online personality, there is no way the teen knows if this is an adult or an adult pretending to be a teen. The reason for an adult to ask this of a minor is because that adult wants to be that minor's bf/gf. Even if the teen says yes, this will not dissuade the adult predator, only let him/her know the teen may be sexually active and they need only find a way to come between her/him and the real life bf/gf.

"Friend of a friend" translates to: I Am A Stranger!

"Friends with benefits," "Fuck buddy," and similar are exactly what they sound like.

"Face to face" means the person wants to meet offline.

"Got a pic" - kids/teens should NEVER share their photos with anyone they don't know. They can never get them back and they never know who is doing the asking or for what purpose.

"In front" or "In back" refer to sexual positions.

"Is it tight" refers to a girl's vagina/virginity.

"I love you" is never okay for a stranger to tell a teen/child, or vice versa.

"Parent/Mom/Teacher/Kid in room" is a sure sign there is something that NEEDS to be monitored. Adults have to remember THEY pay the bills and the child is THEIR responsibility. By "respecting a child's privacy," you are hanging a sign around your child's neck saying, "Do what you want - I will completely ignore your sexual advances and illegal behavior that will ruin my child's life forever."

"Private" means that no one else can see the conversation, like if they were in a chat room. If it's in an IM that is being monitored, this could also refer to private e-mails that no one else can read.

"Real life" refers to offline life, so if someone wants to meet IRL (in real life), they want to take their relationship from cyberspace into the real world for physical contact.

"Roll playing games" on the internet more often than not involve online sex, and are highly addictive and emotional since the characters get to act out their deepest fantasies. RPG's almost always result in offline meetings when kids or teens are involved. It's a grooming tactic, a way for predators to help their victim become comfortable with sex. Please don't confuse this with real games out there that involve taking over castles or defeating enemy armies. Use your judgment when you see you child engaged in a RPG, but remember that games which allow interaction with other gamers are just as dangerous if not more than chatting with strangers. Gamers become close friends online, and this is a way for a predator to form a tight bond with the target.

"What's your real name?" and other questions asking address, private contact information, phone number etc.. are red light questions that someone is trying to get personal information to use in a way neither you nor your child will want.

"XTC" is a drug.

"XOX" is as we all know the symbols for kisses (x) and hugs (o); however, this has no place in the conversation between an adult and a minor.

"Take off your clothes," and "Get naked on cam" etc... Sexually explicit dialogue is NEVER okay, not even teen-to-teen, and should be ignored immediately and reported to parents, teachers, and most importantly, police. What happens on text always has the potential of happening in real life, especially if the person is known to the teen. If the person is a predator, this could lead up to abduction and rape.

Code can be and is often used in sentences, as well: 
"W4nt 2 go 2 the m411 t0d4y?" translates to: "Want to go to the mall today?"

To some, this list and the translations may seem reaching or even as the old adage goes: Seek and ye shall find, meaning if you're looking for something bad, you'll see it even if it's not there. This, simply, is not the case here. These codes and their meanings are quite popular and no secret at all. I, myself, have used some of these codes in adult conversations. Those of us who use them know quite well what we mean when we say them, and we know minors have no business using them and no adult has any right using them with a minor.

Makes me want to rally watch what letters I am typing while I text for sure, lol. :)

I cannot take the credit for all this information. I wanted to bring it to your attention because of Alice Day April 25th coming up. The website is Ultimate Evil and it is a Child Abuse Awareness Site. I have listed the web address above.

The website also talks about correct Wiccan rituals that are being altered and other rituals being used to molest even more children. Yes it happens in all religions so no one is exempt.

WATCH YOUR CHILDREN

More resources

• What Predators Don't Want You To Know By Linda Crystal
• 4 Safety Tips For Parents From NY State Division Of Pollce By Linda Crystal
• Buffalo, NY Has 734 Sexual Offenders By Linda Crystal

(KS) Dr. Dale and Pedophile Dr. Gardner: Similarities Engaged

Courtesy www.TheLizLibrary.org

Please see last post about the GREAT Kansas Dr. Milfred “Bud” Dale. Kansas Court Whore Dr. Milfred “Dale” Bud

Here is the force -- a Mommy  Evaluation from Dr. Dale Evaluation forcing mother to not complain about sexual and physical abuse- it’s confrontational, and if mommy wants to see child again.. then mommy will do as told.

Note the Similarities to the report to that of the known Pedophile and abuser Richard Gardner father of Parental Alienation (PAS) below.

A Topeka Kansas Evaluation: Teaching the mother to NOT REPORT sexual or physical Abuse: As Ordered by the Courts;

Courtesy www.TheLizLibrary.org

CUSTODY EVALUATORS
AND PARENTING COORDINATORS
IN THEIR OWN WORDS

Topeka Kansas Evaluation: Teaching the mother to NOT REPORT sexual or physical Abuse: As Ordered by the Courts;

by Dr. Milford “Bud” Dale.

then see below same? hmm……

http://www.leadershipcouncil.org/1/pas/RAG.html

Overview of Dr. Richard Gardner’s Opinions

on

Pedophilia and Child Sexual Abuse

Richard A. Gardner, M.D., is the creator of the creator and main proponent for Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) theory. Prior to his suicide, Gardner was an unpaid part-time clinical professor of child psychiatry at the College of Physicians and Surgeons at Columbia University . He made his money mainly as a forensic expert.

PAS was developed by Dr Richard Gardner in 1985 based on his personal observations and work as an expert witness, often on behalf of fathers accused of molesting their children. Gardner asserted that PAS is very common and he saw manifestations of this syndrome in over 90% of the custody conflicts he evaluated–even when abuse allegations are not raised (Gardner, 1987, p. 67).1 Gardner (September 6, 1993) claimed that PAS is "a disorder of children, arising almost exclusively in child-custody disputes, in which one parent (usually the mother) programs the child to hate the other parent (usually the father)."2

Gardner ‘s theory of PAS has had a profound effect on how the court systems in our country handle allegations of child sexual abuse, especially during divorce. Gardner has authored more than 250 books and articles with advice directed towards mental health professionals, the legal community, divorcing adults and their children. Gardner ‘s private publishing company, Creative Therapeutics, published his many books, cassettes, and videotapes.3Information available on Gardner ‘s website indicates that he has been certified to testify as an expert in approximately 400 cases, both criminal and civil, in more than 25 states.4Gardner ‘s work continues to serve as a basis for decisions affecting the welfare of children in courtrooms across the nation. He is considered a leading authority in family courts and has even been described as the "guru" of child custody evaluations.4

Because Gardner ‘s PAS theory is based on his clinical observations–not scientific data–it must be understood in the context of his extreme views concerning women, pedophilia and child sexual abuse.

Gardner on pedophilia

The vast majority ("probably over 95%") of all sex abuse allegations are valid.

Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics (pp. 7, 140).

"There is a bit of pedophilia in every one of us."

Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 118)

"Pedophilia has been considered the norm by the vast majority of individuals in the history of the world."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 592-3)

Similarly, "intrafamilial pedophilia (that is, incest) is widespread and … is probably an ancient tradition"

Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 119)

"It is because our society overreacts to it [pedophilia] that children suffer."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 594-5)

Pedophilia may enhance the survival of the human species by serving "procreative purposes."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 24-5)

Pedophilia "is a widespread and accepted practice among literally billions of people."

Gardner, R.A. (1986). Child Custody Litigation: A Guide for Parents and Mental Health Professionals . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, (p. 93)

In addition, Gardner proposes that many different types of human sexual behavior, including pedophilia, sexual sadism, necrophilia (sex with corpses), zoophilia (sex with animals), coprophilia (sex involving defecation), can be seen as having species survival value and thus do "not warrant being excluded from the list of the `so-called natural forms of human sexual behavior.’"

See, Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 18-32)

Gardner on the sexual aggressiveness of children

Gardner suggests that children want to have sex with adults and may seduce them.

Some children experience " high sexual urges in early infancy. " "There is good reason to believe that most, if not all, children have the capacity to reach orgasm at the time they are born."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 15)

Children are naturally sexual and may initiate sexual encounters by "seducing" the adult.

Gardner, R.A. (1986). Child Custody Litigation: A Guide for Parents and Mental Health Professionals. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics (p. 93).

If the sexual relationship is discovered, " the child is likely to fabricate so that the adult will be blamed for the initiation ."

Gardner, R.A. (1986). Child Custody Litigation: A Guide for Parents and Mental Health Professionals. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics (p. 93).

"The normal child exhibits a wide variety of sexual fantasies and behaviors, many of which would be labeled as ‘sick’ or ‘perverted’ if exhibited by adults"

Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 12)

Sex abuse is not necessarily traumatic; the determinant as to whether sexual molestation will be traumatic to the child, is the social attitude toward these encounters.

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 670-71)

Gardner on therapy with children who are sexually abused by their father

•  Keep the child connected to the abuser

Special care should be taken not alienate the child from the molesting parent. The removal of a pedophilic parent from the home "should only be seriously considered after all attempts at treatment of the pedophilia and rapprochement with the family have proven futile."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 537)

The child should be told that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. "The sexual exploitation has to be put on the negative list, but positives as well must be appreciated"

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 572)

•  Tell the child that sexual abuse by a father is normal

Older children may be helped to appreciate that sexual encounters between an adult and a child are not universally considered to be reprehensible acts. The child might be told about other societies in which such behavior was and is considered normal. The child might be helped to appreciate the wisdom of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, who said, "Nothing’s either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 549)

"In such discussions the child has to be helped to appreciate that we have in our society an exaggeratedly punitive and moralistic attitude about adult-child sexual encounters"

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.(p. 572).

Gardner on mothers who discover that their husband is sexually abusing their child

Gardner blames the father’s abuse on the mother, who he faults for not fulfilling her husband sexually. He suggests that therapists should help mother’s of incest victims achieve sexual gratification.

•  Discourage litigation.

•  Encourage her to stay with her husband (the abuser)

•  Blame her and the daughter for the sexual abuse by the father

"It may be that one of the reasons the daughter turned toward the father is the impairment of the child’s relationship with the mother" (pp. 579-80)

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 585)

•  Help her get over her anger at her husband for sexually abusing their child.

"If the mother has reacted to the abuse in a hysterical fashion, or used it as an excuse for a campaign of denigration of the father, then the therapist does well to try and "sober her up"…. Her hysterics … will contribute to the child’s feeling that a heinous crime has been committed and will thereby lessen the likelihood of any kind of rapproachment with the father. One has to do everything possible to help her put the "crime" in proper perspective. She has to be helped to appreciate that in most societies in the history of the world, such behavior was ubiquitous [i.e., everywhere], and this is still the case."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 576-7)

"Perhaps she can be helped to appreciate that in the history of the world his behavior has probably been more common than the restrained behavior of those who do not sexually abuse their children."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 585)

•  Encourage her to become more sexually responsive to her husband.

"Her increased sexuality may lessen the need for her husband to return to their daughter for sexual gratification."

"Verbal statements about the pleasures of orgastic response are not likely to prove very useful. One has to encourage experiences, under proper situations of relaxation, which will enable her to achieve the goal of orgastic response."

"One must try to overcome any inhibition she may have with regard to [the use of vibrators]."

"Her own diminished guilt over masturbation will make it easier for her to encourage the practice in her daughter, if this is warranted. And her increased sexuality may lessen the need for her husband to return to their daughter for sexual gratification."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 585)

Gardner on fathers who sexually abuse their children

•  Tell him what he did his normal

"He has to be helped to appreciate that, even today, it [pedophilia] is a widespread and accepted practice among literally billions of people. He has to appreciate that in our Western society especially, we take a very punitive and moralistic attitude toward such inclinations. He has had a certain amount of back (sic) luck with regard to the place and time he was born with regard to social attitudes toward pedophilia."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 593)

He has had bad luck with regard to the place and time he was born with regard to social attitudes toward pedophilia. However, these are not reasons to condemn himself.

Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 119)

•  Keep him in the home

The removal of a pedophilic parent from the home "should only be seriously considered after all attempts at treatment of the pedophilia and rapprochement with the family have proven futile"

Gardner, R.A. (1991). Sex Abuse Hysteria: Salem Witch Trials Revisited . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (p. 119)

•  Help him protect himself

"He must learn to control himself if he is to protect himself from the Draconian punishments meted out to those in our society who act out their pedophilic impulses."

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill , NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 585-592)

•  Help him forget about it

Therapy with the father should not be spent focusing on the primary problem (I.e., sexual molestation). Instead, therapy should be spent "talking about other things" as the goal of therapy is "to help people forget about their problems"

Gardner, R.A. (1992). True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse . Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics. (pp. 585-592)

Gardner on how society should respond to the widespread victimization of children

• Take a more sympathetic view toward pedophilia

"One of the steps that society must take to deal with the present hysteria is to ‘come off it’ and take a more realistic attitude toward pedophile.”