Responsible Parenting and Fathers´ Rights: An Interview With Michael Flood  

Posted by Claudine Dombrowski

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Mothers Justice- Initiative Project.

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by Joan M. Dawson

Dr. Michael Flood is a sociologist at La Trobe University's Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society. He received his Ph.D in Gender and Sexuality Studies at Australian National University. He's a researcher on fathering and an expert on gender issues. He's also the coordinator of XYonline, a Web site providing commentary on masculinities, feminism and violence.
The fathers' rights movement began in the 1970s. It's mostly concentrated in the U.K., Ireland, Canada, the U.S., New Zealand and Australia. It's primarily concerned with family law issues, child custody cases and domestic violence.
While there have been many positive and supportive organizations arising to meet the needs of distressed fathers after painful divorce proceedings, there have been other organizations that are less constructive.
Some fathers' rights groups send misogynist messages, use strategies such as harassment, stalking and intimidation, and strive to chip away at programs and services for women and children. They deny the extent of domestic violence and offer sympathy to the perpetrators.
Since many domestic violence laws just came into effect in the 1990s, it is cause for concern when an organized group sets out to attack them. This group is considered to be strong, organized, and likely, well-funded.
Personally, I've been startled to find aggressive, threatening messages directed at feminist writers throughout OhmyNews. I've seen similar comments on the Internet that deny domestic violence, call women evil and make snide remarks about women belonging at home doing household chores. The level of misogyny seems to be rising. And, while many men and women have formed positive networks and groups to deal with abuse and discrimination, these fathers' rights groups are also gaining strength.
I was confused at first, not knowing whether to ignore them or confront them. I decided to research them further. I visited many of their Web sites, did a fair deal of research on them, and, was fortunate enough to receive a positive reply for an interview from an expert in the field, Dr. Michael Flood.
He's answered many of my questions and, while my concerns have not been put to rest, it has reassured me that there are talented, devoted people like him working in the field to promote positive, healthy relationships in families and communities today.
The following is my interview with him conducted via email on March 19.
Which of the fathers' rights groups should we be most afraid of, and why? How strong are these groups in terms of their numbers? How much havoc have they wreaked? Are there any signs of them weakening?
In one sense, the fathers' rights groups we should be most afraid of are the seemingly sensible ones. Some FR groups distance themselves from the "extremists" who make wild, misogynistic claims and threats and adopt tactics of direct action. Instead, these groups concentrate on political lobbying, and they are creating changes in family law. At the same time, their perspectives are still misguided, and their influence is dangerous. FR groups have successfully shifted family laws in some jurisdictions so that fathers' contact with children is privileged over children's safety. Children are being forced into contact with fathers who've been violent to them or their mothers.
FR groups have also encouraged the lie that women routinely make false accusations of child abuse or domestic violence, and the myth that domestic violence is gender-equal.
[See my attached conference paper for other examples of their influence.]
You have said that these groups "mimic the micro-practices of offenders." Can you explain?
They deny the extent of men's violence against women, excuse or justify this violence, and fail to place responsibility with the perpetrators by blaming others such as women or the family law system. While FR groups claim to care about children, some advocates have expressed sympathy for men who murder their children or described this as an understandable response to discrimination against men.
Are these men batterers? What are their characteristics?
Some men in FR groups have used violence. To the extent that FR groups assume that all fathers accused of domestic violence or child abuse are being accused falsely, they fail to protect children from harm. As part of encouraging fathers' positive relationships with children, we should be upholding laws and policies addressing domestic violence and child abuse, not trying to undermine them.
What are the characteristics of the women that belong to such groups?
Some FR groups sometimes have female members and even co-founders, including second wives and other family members of men who have had some engagement with family law.
Typically, hate crime does not include crime against women. However, these groups are clearly hateful towards women, and feminists, in particular. Is it safe to say they are "hate groups"?
Many FR groups offer hateful and misogynist stereotypes of women and mothers. FR groups do little to heal the anger and blame felt by many separated fathers. And FR groups in general circulate highly inaccurate and hostile parodies of feminism. Some FR groups use "softer" and more "reasonable" rhetoric, but few if any are dedicated to building constructive relationships between separated fathers, mothers, and children.
Writeup from my "Supporting Separated Fathers" paper, also attached:

"Negative and hostile depictions of women in general and single mothers in particular are the bread and butter of fathers' rights discourse. As Kaye and Tolmie (1998: 184-190) document, fathers' rights literature routinely depicts women as parasitical, mendacious, and vindictive. First, resident mothers are portrayed as living lives of luxury relative to nonresident fathers, lazy 'sofa loafers' and 'gold-diggers' who are comfortable on government pensions and financially exploiting their ex-partners. As Winchester (1999: 93) found in her interviews with members of the Newcastle branch of the Lone Fathers' Association, group members consistently overestimated single mothers' financial well-being, underestimated the costs and expenses of caring for resident children, and undervalued their ex-partners' domestic work. In fact, recent analysis of those involved in the child support system as recipients or payers finds that while nonresident fathers are poor, resident mothers are even poorer, with 75 percent living on incomes below $15,600 per annum (Silvey and Birrell 2004: 50). Second, mothers are portrayed as dishonest and vindictive, prone to making false allegations of domestic violence or child abuse and arbitrarily and unilaterally denying nonresident fathers' contact with children (Kaye and Tolmie 1998: 186-187). Members of fathers' rights groups also portray their ex-partners as 'tramps,' 'whores,' 'sluts,' 'bitches' and 'adulterers' (Winchester year: 90-91).
Recent public submissions by fathers' rights groups have emphasised their commitment to respecting mothers, and focused on lawyers, judges, and the 'system' as the main oppressors rather than mothers (Rhoades 2005: 7). However, hostile and misogynist discourses regarding single mothers, women, and/or feminism continue to be readily apparent in the newsletters, e-mail lists, and Web sites of fathers' rights groups.
The worldviews of fathers' rights groups will do little to encourage nonresident fathers' engagement in constructive and respectful relationships with their ex-partners. To the extent that fathers' rights groups fuel interparental hostility and conflict, they will have two negative impacts. First, they will lessen fathers' contact with children and increase fathers' use of the courts to enforce contact. For example, in his study of Australian fathers, Hawthorne (2005: 9) found a negative association between interparental hostility and the frequency of fathers' contact and involvement with children. Similarly, in an American study, fathers with greater conflict and poorer relationships with their ex-partners also were the ones who reported difficulties with visitation and more frequent resort to the courts (Lehr and MacMillan 2001: 377).
Second, because of their impact on interparental hostility and conflict, fathers' rights groups will lessen children's wellbeing. Interparental conflict is a leading stressor for children after divorce, and the best predictor of child maladjustment (Braver et al. 2005: 83). As Marsiglio et al. (2000: 1184) note, 'Because conflict is harmful to children, conflict between parents may cancel, or even reverse, any benefits associated with frequent visitation."
How is it that some of these "believers" are able to be judges, researchers, university professors, etc.?
Because the experiences, and beliefs, on which FR groups are based are also widespread. Large numbers of men have experienced painful and bitter separations and divorces, many feel angry and deeply traumatized, and it's easy for this to be politicized into anti-feminist hostility. More generally, sexist stereotypes of women and feminism are widespread in our culture. FR groups can mobilize beliefs which are already readily available.
How can they best be dealt with?
The most important strategy for dealing with FR groups is to offer alternative, positive responses to separated men and non-resident fathers. Responses which encourage constructive involvements in children's lives and respectful relations with ex-spouses and mothers. More widely, we must address the social factors which feed into fathers' separation from children in the first place, the factors which prevent many fathers from being involved with children *before* separation. Key obstacles include parent-unfriendly workplace practices and cultures, policy barriers to shared care, and gender norms and relations which constrain boys' and men's parenting and relationship skills and commitments.

© Ohmy News International

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Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Mothers Justice- Initiative Project.

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Inside the family courts: raw deal for moms?  

Posted by Claudine Dombrowski

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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SUNDAY TIMES MAGAZINE

Inside family courts

Courts are increasingly ruling that women must live apart from their children after divorce

Inside the family courts: raw deal for mums?

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6734001.ece

It's increasingly ruled women must live apart from children post divorce - attacking working mothers or rewarding male parenting?

Child with her parents

(Dirk Lindner)

Christine Toomey

RECOMMEND? (35)

Tension is high in the waiting area outside the top floor courtrooms of the Inner London Family Proceedings Court in Wells Street, central London. In one corner, an agitated young mother sits pressing crumpled tissues to her face, mumbling, “I just want my kids back”, as solicitors huddle close by talking among themselves about the need for her to attend parenting classes.

In the opposite corner, an older mother sits staring straight ahead, her handbag perched primly on her lap, studiously avoiding eye contact with her former partner, who has sidled over to sit by my side. Like all family courts, Wells Street, the largest in the country, has only been open to media scrutiny since April after a campaign arguing that the close secrecy in which they traditionally operated led to widespread miscarriages of justice. “Blokes are being crucified in here,” the man blurts out to me, his face red with pent-up fury. This is not quite true.

Over the course of the next few hours, a formidable female judge patiently listens to his pleas to be allowed to see his baby son fortnightly, despite objections by the baby’s mother that this should not be granted until full background checks on him are completed. She claims that he was once excluded from a leisure centre for inappropriate attention to children. Her objections are overruled. Supervised contact is granted.

After years of high-profile stunts by pressure groups such as Fathers4Justice, many people assume that men still systematically fare badly in family courts. But in the wake of a recent spate of stories highlighting the treatment of mothers considered “too stupid” or disruptive or too busy working to look after, or even be allowed contact with, their children, some question if the pendulum has begun to swing the other way.

I hear the stories of mothers whose experiences have convinced them of it. Isabel is a former teacher, aged 40, now living in the northeast of England. Her voice trembles as she tells of a lengthy legal battle with her wealthy ex-husband for custody of her son. “He left me when I was pregnant and showed little interest in our son at first. But as soon as he got a new girlfriend with children of her own, he wanted to impress her by playing the family man, and applied for contact and eventually full custody,” she says. Her ex-husband, a prominent businessman, Isabel says, is a bully who intimidated social workers into writing negative reports about her mothering abilities. She tried to challenge them in court, only to be told, she says, by the judge who granted her son’s father increased contact: “Any more from you and you will never see your son again.”

“It was all about control as far as my ex was concerned,” she says, “and because he had a cousin in the legal profession, he knew how to play the system. I began to be treated like some sort of criminal and entered a living hell.”

When Isabel’s son was three, he started to complain, grabbing his genitals, that his father was “hurting me there lots and lots”. But when Isabel told the court that she believed her son was being sexually abused by his father, she was accused by psychologists employed by her ex-husband of suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), a controversial term used to imply that she had planted false allegations in her son’s mind.

The term PAS, sometimes referred to as “implacable hostility”, was coined by an American psychiatrist, the late Dr Richard Gardener, in 1985, to describe the process by which one parent brainwashes a child against the other by obsessive denigration. It has been cited in high-profile custody battles such as that of the actors Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger, but it has never been recognised as a clinically diagnosed condition.

In this country PAS has been dubbed by some mothers “the new Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy” — the now widely questioned suggestion that parents expressing concern for a child’s health may be fabricating or inducing illness. There are no statistics cataloguing the extent of its use in the British courts, but it appears to be gaining an increasing foothold here. Time and again in my conversations with mothers who have lost custody of their children, or are struggling to maintain contact with them, it emerges that they have been accused of suffering from PAS.

It was on the strength of such accusations against her that Isabel finally lost custody of her son. She is allowed to see him only once every three weeks during visits that involve her making a round trip of more than 300 miles. Devastated that her son is being raised by her ex-husband’s new wife, who she believes neglects her child, she is “seething with anger and feelings of impotence” at the injustice. “I am heartbroken that my happy intelligent little boy has been so let down by the system,” says Isabel, who describes the family courts as “a one-size-fits-all setup” that leaves too many parents and children traumatised.

Isabel describes her son now as “just a shadow of himself” when she manages to see him. “He appears at the door and I hardly recognise him, he is so withdrawn. But I daren’t say anything more to the courts about this because I am sure then they will stop me from seeing him altogether.”

Laura, a 44-year-old businesswoman, has not seen her two sons for more than a year, after her ex-husband was granted full custody (now known as “residency”) when she too was accused of trying to turn them against their father. “My sons were rejecting their father partly because they felt so guilty about leaving me when they went to see him. But the so-called experts who assessed them had such little understanding of child psychology and development, they were on a par with dentists trying to perform brain surgery.”

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    Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

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    Dear KS Senator Faust-Goudeau your SB 128 "Fatherhood Initiatives Act" is genocide on Kansas women and children  

    Posted by Claudine Dombrowski

    Note: Cross posted from [blogger angelzfury] Battered Women, Battered Children, Custody Abuse.

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    From: AngelFury@AngelFury.org Sent: Thursday, August 06, 2009 3:09 PM To: Oletha29th@aol.com Subject: KS SB 128 By Senator Faust-Goudeau "Fatherhood Initiatives Act" is genocide on Kansas women and children

    Dear Senator,

    The below is from one of my blogs, I am horrified that the entire nation has started to realize and rethink the father supremacists’ act, that I find a Kansas senator has carried this forward; a Democrat, a woman, perhaps even a mother- I am even more shocked.

    Kathleen Sebelius filled Wade Horn’s anti human rights FR initiatives at HHS but not before a suit for sex discrimination was placed on him in 2007. I urge you for the good of humanity the sake of countless lives to please talk with Kathleen Sebelius at HHS or the KS AG’s Office and Sandy Barnett at KCSDV.

    This is a death sentence, to an already oppressed and continuing full force  basic human rights violations. To be free from torture.

    I am the lead plaintiff at the Inter American Commission Human Rights, a Kansas case leads suit against the US for Human rights Violations.  Kansas is also hard copy cosigner to the petition which can be viewed in its entirety here http://tinyurl.com/cqkma4  on the Stop Family Violence website in NY. Please take a look at what this ‘act’ has done on a national level. We have come so far with such a long way yet to go.. please do not allow us to go even further back into the dark ages.

    Please stop this, drop this or delay this for further hearings, the lives of many women and children literally depend on this. I will be as vocal as I can, albeit it may be to late- but vocal none the less.

    Thank you for your time and Please feel free to contact me in regards to this matter.

    Sincerely,

    Claudine Dombrowski (Dombrowski et el v US)

    SaH, ACP Kansas

    C: 785.845.3417

     

    Battered Mothers Rights – A Human Rights Issue

    Promoting the BATTERED mothers rights to protect their children’s rights to a safe and loving life.

    KS SB 128 By Senator Faust-Goudeau “Fatherhood Initiatives Act” is genocide on Kansas women and children

    leave a comment »

    I am just sickened by not following this- 2009 session KS SB 128 FR act. I have been busy just trying to stay safe- keep my daughter safe on a daily basis- it is truly a war zone.

    Then, SB 128 below was -sent to me from another state- when a KS fellow humanist points out the almost already LAW that would further place women and children in the exact situation as my daughter and I have had to endure this past 15 years. There are simply no words I can say…. I feel as though the coffin is being sealed with a nail gun, faster than I can keep pulling them out….the air has left my lungs as though knocked out of me again.

    I am not familiar with the politics, bills and other sleaze ball stuff in Kansas until it comes to my attention, from a 14 year old girl whose rapist- convicted of 20 felony counts of rape and sodomy, was given probation- so he could ‘go get custody of his children”. Kansas you recall Orlando Paul Cisneros- Most recall only the outrage of his crime against the beautiful she was 13 then (aged 14 by court) yes another easy on the perp technicality.

    I think that most missed one small part in WHY Orlando Paul Cisneros was given probation as it was overshadowed by the obvious -a recommended 15 years ‘departed’ to probation-

    Orlando Paul Cisneros was in part granted as soon as he was given probation he immediately as per the Fatherhood Indicatives Act- sought custody of his two children. Fortunately We the people kept the pressure on Judge Dowd- Media in the Court room of Judge Schmidt- those two children were spared thanks to a 5th probation violation by Cisneros.

    But dear God, help all those other children and their mothers those perps whom have discovered the Criminal Rewards in the Judiciary.

    The Fatherhood Initiatives Act is genocide to all battered women and their children, rather than SRS pay a mother and child food stamps and keep them safe- the FR act promotes welfare reform, getting rid of ‘dead beat dads’ ‘fixing them FORCING dads that are better off gone into a YOU WILL BE DAD. The incentives for the State- are faith based funds to PAY for bad dad drug dad therapy, to pay his attorney to get custody of his victims and to cause generations of irreparable harm – all because the STATE wants to remove a mom (and her children from State aid) hundreds and thousands of dollars to ‘fix’ defunct dad”  Anger Management classes, Drug and alcohol classes PARENTING classes- these many agencies will make a a significant profit per child until that child ages through the system….and in most cases continues to beat rape and abuse both, the mother and the children.

    So the Secretary can go in and say- yes we have less mother and children’s on state care-and all these defunct Mental Health Court Whores who must protect abusive dad we can ‘fix’ him we can cure him- at least we can treat him throughout his ‘fatherliness until the children age out” ($$) of course it works on one end.. 

    the severe scars left – on the children and their mother- (no profit $$ to be made) no treatment… that’s if they survive. dead mothers and dead children. This is the cost of the Fatherhood Initiatives act. aka Welfare reform, another very hard hit to women and children in Kansas.

    If ever there were at time to put aside our differences- and try to stop this-now would be a good time.

    I will however will raise as much noise as I can demanding this not be entered into the statutes – and adding insult to injury the “HB 2314 Protective Parent Reform Act” which would have spared some- was completely tossed aside. Kansas Senate you should be ashamed- as you know each and everyone of you know all to well  the costs of lives… the children, SRS and the parents who try to protect them.

    Stay tuned- as I will muster what little i have left and give it all to stopping this last minute genocide …

    for now I just needed to get this out-like throwing up- only I do not feel better.  Thank you mad voter for eyes younger than mine and seeing this for me…. perhaps there still can be a chance.

    Session of 2009

    clip_image001

    SENATE BILL No. 128

    By Senator Faust-Goudeau

    1-27

    AN ACT creating and implementing the fatherhood initiative program;

    relating to the duties of the department of social and rehabilitation

    services.

    Be it enacted by the Legislature of the State of Kansas:

    Section 1. (a) Subject to the provisions of appropriation acts, the secretary of

    social and rehabilitation services shall establish a fatherhood initiative program

    within the department of social and rehabilitation services.

    The objectives of the initiative shall be to:

    18 (1) Promote public education concerning the financial and emotional

    19 responsibilities of fatherhood;

    20 (2) assist men in preparation for the legal, financial and emotional

    21 responsibilities of fatherhood;

    22 (3) promote the establishment of paternity at childbirth;

    23 (4) encourage fathers, regardless of marital status, to foster their emo-

    24 tional connection to a

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    Not a Private Matter – Why "Family" "Law" System Hurts Us All  

    Posted by Claudine Dombrowski

    Note: Cross posted from [blogger angelzfury] Battered Women, Battered Children, Custody Abuse.

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    Let'sGetHonestBlog

    Not a Private Matter – Why "Family" "Law" System Hurts Us All

    WHY won’t we ask WHY judges underestimate lethality risk in domestic violence cases? (papers.SSRN.com)

    leave a comment »

    Before this:

    I would like to personally apologize for the lousy hyphenation in the last post.  I will bring this to the attention of my webmaster (when I get one).  As to blogging, I’m an old dog learning new tricks.  As to polishing my blogs — my life still falls under these lethality risk categories, which the abstract below refers to as “Danger Assessment” (”D.A.”, not to be confused with “D.A” meaning “District Attorney” in some jurisdictions), and has for years, and when I feel that the “survival” aspect has changed, I will probably (from thence forward) be more careful.   

    Til then — and I do realize partly BECAUSE long-term family law entrapments have made long-term planning a “moot point,” I will for the short-term, get them up there, period.  I tried about 3 ways yesterday to get the chart within the confines here.  I also know that one cannot post a link to this particular database which actually saves the search.  Instead, it brings one only to the search page. 

    If I were a different person, I’d just slap up the article and barely commment on it.  All these “Says Who?” and “Why THIS focus in such an important field?” wouldn’t resonate within my mind. 

    But being who I am (daughter of a research scientist who talked back to ideas, including writing his backtalk to the author in MY books), and also, no longer so credulous about the “helping” institutions  / nonprofits that structure most of our environments, for any single promiment assertion — and even moreso for any “intervention” into my life on the supposed basis of helping (and PARTICULARLY) from an expert whose own life — or whose children’s, or friend’s children’s — safety, futures, and course of life are not affected — I will continue to say WHY are only THESE questions being posted, and not other, seemingly obvious ones, and post this as I can

    I‘ve found that the answer to Why Not ask THIS?” usually points to financial emotional involvement, or other vested interests between the theorist and the ongoing business that such an unsolved problem drives in the direction of these fields of theory.  (In other words, conflict of interests…)

    The other part of “who I am” is someone who experientially understands the profound disinterest shown by court denizens (may I use that word?), and moreso, policy-setters (including judges) in whether or not their decisions actually compromise someone’s safety or solvency, or a child’s contact with the parent who just experienced the switch from custodial to NONcustodial. 

    (The long sentences is bad writing. I don’t recall this coming from my father, so I’ll take personal responsibility for it.  Especially the long sentences with all the parenthetical phrases, which lack a main verb, that I typically see later.  I guess my brain’s RAM filled up, and the main subject just dropped off the back end somehow before I got in the matching verb.  I’ll work on this, but doubt I’ll join the ”Twitter” generation.)

    Anyhow, sorry, it’s not on the map, to fix everything, I don’t have time.  I will try to get some help on how to quote articles, though, so hyphenation happens.  In former work life, I was a stickler on format, down to the commas and unseen spaces, and in fact something of a copyeditor.   (Long-term exposure to trauma-producing events DOES change one’s priorities, and thinking, too).

    Meanwhile, my policy is to get the information POSTED, and those who care to follow up (are highly motivated to do so) will have some more tools, and possibly ask some questions they might not have thought of before.  IN short, I am leaving a track record and a paper trail, in part in CASE something untoward happens.  The status quo of my case — and life — since the moment it left renewing a restraining order, and took the exit chute into family law — has been, both inside and outside the court — that if I accepted the current abusive status quo (whatever abusive, work-destroying and income-deleting level it was at), and did NOT try to enforce ANYTHING (or expose prior illegal/criminal activity), then POSSIBLY, like a good little doggie, I might get some tidbits, even POSSIBLY a glimpse of one of my daughters.  If not, then escalation. 

    This same venue applies I believe in the courtroom arena.  As domestic violence has been exposed, action on it has mostly been diverted to TALK and TASK FORCES.  And publications.  As thankful as I am for the developing body of research by all these experts which seemed to validate both my experience and what I wanted to happen, appropriately given the violent background of our marriage, somehow it just never did. 

    I now believe all this is a stalling technique.  The researchers, building their reputations, often have a leisure the “participants” don’t.

    The EXPERTS are generally “ABOUT” developing liaisons, alliances, conferences, and sometimes (unfortunately) cronies.  The LITIGANTS are NOT invited, generally.  This is the EXACT opposite of what I believe those leaving abuse need.  They need to be free and self-sufficient as MUCH as possible, and not have to sell their souls — cheap, at the most vulnerable points of life — to the closest available bidder, and cheap, too.  

    Survivors generally don’t have that long a leash, timewise. The thing they need is safety, and a long enough break from abuse, to get free and economically independent.  This goal is intrinsically opposed to what the controller/abuser/batter wants, as we gradually come to learn (I use the “we” as to that category).    Any policies which require them to depend in any way upon that batterer are going to be a recipe for trouble, and a chink in the protective armor. 

    Anyone who has survived BOTH abuse AND then a season in family law (and if they won custody, AND maintained it under a challenge from the ex-abuser; i.e., stalking through family court or otherwise, I think there’s  probably one of two main reasons:

    1.  They already HAVE strong alliances in this venue, and resources (which are a protective factor in leaving abuse, incidentally), OR

    2.  They REALLY have some savvy, or are with someone who REALLY has some savvy on the HOW to get corruption to “back off.”  that requires a different, skeptical, and challenging (whether openly or not) mindset.  For example, “I know who’s paying you off.”

    Anecdotal:

    • An acquaintance of mine (not mentioned anywhere on this blog) recently found evidence that a forensic videotaped interview of her child, one that I think was instrumental in a custody switch, had been tampered with (sections deleted / edited) illegally.  That is a powerful tool for her.  
    • My case has had multiple transcript errors, some of then understandable, but still significant, including getting two individuals’ names confused, and then a significant deletion to a clear, coherent and concise statement I knew that the entire courtroom heard (no expletives, but a pointed comment).  The mediator’s report is almost not worth a mention; every one had factual errors, and there were substantial procedural errors, also.
    • The bottom line is the judge.  The judge is the one who signs the order.  Beyond that, in practice, there is the issue of what happens when those are ignored.  (What a morass!).

    If you don’t understand the dynamic of trying to “please” and “cooperate” with an abuser, or abusive (essentially meaning corrupt and intentionally oppressive, in order to achieve a private — not public —  personal benefit, typically related to power or money) organization, then either talk to a woman who got out of such a relationship or pick up Patricia Evans’ “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” and read the chapters about Reality I (Power Over) and Reality II (Cooperation, or whatever its term was).

    The family court language AND structures THROUGHOUT talk about sharing, cooperating, mediating, conciliation and so forth.  In TRUTH, it’s exceptionally abusive and tyrannical in how this plays out. 

    So, here’s my attitude:  I give credit for altruism where it’s due. 


    “In God We Trust.  Every one else pays cash, upfront.”

    “Pays cash”-in the form of evidence of other cases helped, or having stemmed the tide of family wipeouts, or in short whatever the case in point is — and they do so upfront, like an attorney’s retainer.  This should go for attorneys and nonprofits alike.  Unfortunately in this venue (once in it), often a crisis of some sort provokes a series of hearings.

    Operating on hope in this venue is certifiable insanity.  Don’t go that route — do your own research, even in a crisis.  Do your best to NEVER get caught in a crisis.  I did, but the reason was, I kept hoping in the wrong institutions.  Leaning on a broken post or fence.

    I would like to personally THANK the judge that provided the first restraining order, which enabled me to physically/financially PROVE that even under severe duress, and after a lot of destruction, that with a LITTLE space and a LITTLE support, I could indeed make it financially, emotionally, personally and socially, etc., and so could (have) my daughters.  I have already proved that the issue was indeed the abuse, and that with this person out of my household, and not in daily contact, I could manage.

    I would also like to personally thank the organization in the city where I lived (it had the word “Family Violence”) in it, even though in several aspects, the order and the process WAS a real screwup, they DID get that initial order.  For that I think them, and the mistakes they made, I later called back in.  I don’t see that practices have changed in the past 10 years or so.  They are beholden to who pays their lease, as we all are, and which MOST people don’t think twice about, but litigants SHOULD.

    Well, let’s get to today’s point, which struck a nerve with me, although it  was incidental to looking up something else):

    I don’t know WHY I ask questions that I don’t see getting asked VERY often among — especially not among — experts in the fields I am an “expert” (absent a Ph.D. saying I am) as to experience AND reading lots of the literature. 

    TOPIC:

    WHY? do judges so underestimate the lethality risk in cases that involve domestic violence?

    This abstract of an upcoming social science article proposes that they “just don’t understand,” as do many well-intentioned family court reform movements, which I am not part of for that reason.  This upcoming appears to propose that inserting a lethality risk assessment IN the courts — although I think a good thing to publicize — might save lives. 

    I disagree.

    The underlying premise is that the judges, including most or all judges, in these venues care.

    Based on experience and hearsay, and headlines, I also disagree.

    In fairly recent months, in the United States, we have had (anecdotal from my memory, some details may not be precise):

    • An Illinois Governor ousted for corruption.
    • Another Governor caught cheating on his wife, although WHY that is actually headline news beats me….
    • 2 Pennsylvania judges convicted of taking kickbacks, depriving hundreds of juveniles of their legal rights and sending them into detention or camps at locations the same judges had financial interest in.  THey DID get caught, but it took time.
    • A Texas area (Fed. District) judge sued for sexual harassment, long term, of some of his female employees.
    • This is older, but a NJ (as I recall) judge with last name Thompson was caught traveling to Russia for sex with (as I recall) an underage boy, and also caught substantial child pornography.  This was a JUDGE.

    The illusion that all people in public office, or working to protect children — or for that matter women — is a dangerous one that needs to be dropped.  The motto is not appropriately, “Just Trust Me…” but the Texan “Don’t Tread on Me,” when it comes to governmental representatives on public payrolls.  With the vacant space of warm fuzzy feelings of connection in one’s mind, insert principles, and phrases, from the U.S. Bill of Rights AND our Constitution, which our President is sworn to uphold, and if He or should it some day become a She, does not uphold this, He or She should be impeached or “encouraged” to resign. 

    Side-benefit — you’ll be better informed, and this is great for self-confidence.

    This Constitution and those civil and our legal rights (in any individual custody case) are a “use it or lose it proposition.”

    The social science of risk assessment may have validity, and I believe many times does, BUT the key issue should be due process in decisions, and afterwards enforcement.

    An honest look — and “Let’s Get Honest” — I’ve got a start here, AND some tools on the site — at the finances of our government will show that a way COULD be found to get sufficient law enforcement of existing laws if there were a communal, a corporately communal policy will to do so. 


    Beyond that, the 2nd Amendment is a crucial one for survivors of Intimate Partner Violence, and it’s time we understood this.  Perhaps when more abusers understood that we UNDERSTAND this, they might back off, and let us get back to the other principal issues of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness — or at least a roof over our heads, and food.

    Advocacy is necessary, but we need to pay close attention of which of our advocates are advocating for what, HOW they do so (do THEY respect due process, and open communications) and what they are really about.  The best advocate in any situation for an individual is the one that has the most at stake, and when it comes to DV, that is, literally, lives, honor, and fortunes, like those (OK, men), who signed, so long ago.

    OK:  from the valuable site, www.SSRN.com, free to join and informative. …. with a warning, it’s not a standalone in “family court matters” — there are major players and publishers also in the courts, whose abstracts I don’t find on here, and a warning that one needs to look at the funding, and in short, spend a good amount of time researching the people in the field to get a grasp of it, I was glad to find this database (huge) on a variety of topics, many of them within “Family Court Matters.”

    http://papers.ssrn.com

    Stop the Killing: Potential Courtroom Use of a Questionnaire that Predicts the Likelihood that a Victim of Intimate Partner Violence Will Be Murdered by Her Partner

    Lynn McLain
    University of Baltimore School of Law

    Amanda L. Hitt
    Government Accountability Project (GAP)

    Wisconsin Journal of Law, Gender and Society, Fall 2009

    Abstract:
    (The draft of this article is currently undergoing cite checking and revision by the Wisconsin Journal of Law, Gender and Society and will be published in final format in the Fall 2009 issue of the Wisconsin Journal of Law, Gender and Society.)

    Judges in domestic cases often underestimate the risk to a mother and her children that an angry and abusive father or other intimate partner poses. In a recent Maryland case, for example, {{CASTILLO}} two judges refused to deny a father visitation or require that visitation be supervised, despite the fact that the father had threatened suicide. During the father’s unsupervised visitation, he drowned all three of his children, then attempted to kill himself.  {{THE MOTHER IN THE CASE WAS, I THINK, A PEDIATRIC DOCTOR, THE IGNORANCE OF EVIDENCE IN THIS CASE WAS OUTRAGEOUS – IT WASN”T JUST HEARSAY TESTIMONY AS TO HIS MENTAL STATE}}.{{Or in at least one Maryland case, “Castillo”}

    The Danger Assessment tool (the D.A.) developed by a Johns Hopkins Nursing professor andvalidated by herself and other social scientists shows how much the father’s thoughts of suicide increased the risk that he would commit murder. Had the judges had that Danger Assessment, the children might have been kept safe.

    NO, I say, “had the judges had — AND HEEDED — that Danger Assessment”

    The attached article does something that we think has never been done before. It takes the D.A., which has been used widely to counsel domestic violence victims, and investigates whether and howit might be admissible in myriad types of court proceedings, both civil family law proceedings and criminal matters. The primary goal is to inform judges of the importance of the impact of the complex of factors in a particular case, including unemployment of the abuser, access to a gun, the presence in the home of children from an earlier relationship, and threats of suicide.

    My co-author and I hope this will be a pivotal article that will lead to the taking of steps that result in heightened understanding by judges and provision of greater protection for victims and their children. We suggest (1) how the D.A. evidence may be admissible (or not) under current rules; (2) the possible advisability of amendments to current rules or statutes; and (3) judicial training on the D.A. factors.

    Keywords: domestic violence, intimate partners, suicide, homicide, Danger Assessment Tool, family law, visitation, abusers, guns, weapons

    JEL Classifications: K19, K39, K49, I18

    Accepted Paper Series

    <><><><>><><><><><>

    This (still being checked for cites) informative paper is available at link above; I recommend reading it.

    The “LETHALITY RISK” or “HOMICIDE /FATALITY REVIEW”  is not exactly new:

    National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence

    Warning:  list of links/titles may trigger PTSD in survivors.

    Can you handle this?

    1985, by a Ph.D./RN, Jacquelyn Campbell

    and possibly the study referred to above:

    DANGER ASSESSMENT, Jacquelyn C. Campbell, PhD, RN. Copyright © 1985, 1988.

    1990, by an attorney, Barbara Hart

    Formerly @ PEnnsylvania CADV, now property of MINCAVA (Minnesota; below).

    ASSESSING WHETHER BATTERERS WILL KILL, Barbara J. Hart, Esq.,

    Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1990,

    Barbara J. Hart’s Collected Writings, Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse, St. Paul, MN.

    Copyright © 1995-2004 Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse.

    1999, Campbell et al.

    Stalking & Femicide

    Homicide Studie.

    STALKING AND INTIMATE PARTNER FEMICIDE, Judith M. McFarlane, Jacquelyn C. Campbell, Susan Wilt, Carolyn J. Sachs, Yvonne Ulrich and Xiao Xu, Homicide Studies (volume 3, number 4, pages 300-316), Sage Publications, Thousand Oaks, CA: November 1999. Copyright © 1999 Sage Publications. 

    2000, CDC Epidemiologist

    Maternal (pregnancy) mortality had fallen 99% this century,

    except homicides…..

    RESEARCHERS STUNNED BY SCOPE OF SLAYINGS: FURTHER STUDIES NEEDED, MOST AGREE, Donna St. George, Washington Post, Washington, DC: December 19, 2004. Copyright © 1996-2004 The Washington Post Company.

    In the mid-1990s, Cara Krulewitch sat in a dark, cramped file room in the office of the D.C.

    medical examiner, poring over autopsies for days that became weeks, then months. She was an

    epidemiologist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, assigned to the District. 

    Krulewitch wanted to see whether maternal deaths were being undercounted, as was common

    elsewhere across the country. Granted access to confidential death files, she assumed she would

    find more deaths from medical complications of pregnancy – embolism, infection, hemorrhage –

    than anyone knew. 

    What she stumbled upon instead was a surprising number of homicides:

    Krulewitch dug into medical archives and came across a 1992 journal article from Chicago and a

    1995 study from New York City. In both, homicide had emerged as a significant cause of

    maternal death. It was difficult for the uninitiated to comprehend: Were pregnant women being

    killed in notable numbers? 

    “I didn’t understand it at all,” said Krulewitch, whose study was published in the Journal of

    Midwifery & Women’s Health. 

    Her research came at a time when maternal mortality rates in the United States had fallen a full

    99 percent from the last century, with fewer than 500 women a year dying of medical problems

    related to childbearing. 

    Even now, studies that analyze maternal homicide are relatively rare. 

    One of the most comprehensive studies came from Maryland, where researchers used an array of

    case-spotting methods, expecting to find more medical deaths than the state knew about. Instead

    they discovered that homicide was the leading cause of death, a finding published in 2001 in the

    Journal of the American Medical Association. 

    In 2002, Massachusetts weighed in with a study that also showed homicide as the top cause of

    maternal death, followed by cancer. Two of three homicides involved domestic violence. “This is

    clearly a major health problem for women,” said Angela Nannini, who led the study. 

    2000, Chicago, Women’s Health Risk (collaborative)

    2002, West Coast U.S.

    Women’s Nonprofit Justice Center

    HOW TO INVESTIGATE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDE – A GUIDE FOR INVESTIGATING THE PATH LEADING UP TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOMICIDES- FOR FRIENDS, ACTIVISTS, JOURNALISTS, AND ALL WHO CARE, Women’s Justice Center, Santa Rosa, CA: 2002.

    2003, Reuters Health Report

    Post-mortem when they didn’t die:

    I have some commentary, so am expanding this one:

    Many Women at Risk of Being Murdered Don’t Know It

    By Alison McCook

    Friday, November 28, 2003

    NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Nearly one half of women who are about to experience an attempt on their lives at the hands of a boyfriend or husband may not realize they are in danger, new research reports.

    A look back at warning signs for 30 women who survived an attempted homicide by an intimate partner revealed that 14 did not know their lives were at risk, and said they were “completely surprised” by the attack. {{ABOUT 1 out of 2}}

    Most attacks occurred around the time that women tried to end the relationship. And while nearly all women had experienced previous episodes of abuse and violence from their partners, not all instances had been severe.

    These findings suggest that, in some cases, the warning signs that a woman’s life is in danger may be hard to read, lead author Dr. Christina Nicolaidis of the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland said.

    Nicolaidis and her colleagues interviewed 30 women between the ages of 17 and 54 who had survived an attempted homicide by their current or former boyfriends or husbands.  {{NO ONE should have to undergo this!}}

    All but two of the women had experienced episodes of violence or controlling behavior, such as stalking or preventing them from going anywhere alone, from the man who tried to kill them.

    {{I have been reporting such behavior to professionals in my case both on AND off the record.  I have signed statements of witnesses in the file.  There was a prior DV restraining order, and I have sustained serious injury already.  There were weapons.  There has been CONSISTENT stalking, which frightens me – almost as much as the nonresponse to it by others in authority also frightens me.  My last “feint” at getting an anti-stalking order was this past spring (I think).  The last incident was last month.  There is a reason WHY this is being systematically ignored in courts — specifically but not only family courts.  But I have also been reporting this to police officers responding to an event since the year 2005 at a minimum.  It is COMMON SENSE that stalking resembles the type of stalking actually done of a hunter by its prey.  When it comes to people, it has a dual purpose:  it may be to kill, or it may be to send a clear message sent to terrorize which (basically) it does.  I have a blog here on what this did to my life, almost half a post as I recall.  The absolute NON response of too many authorities to this issue tells BOTH the stalker AND the prey that the situation is uncontrolled, and (she) is on her own.  I have also been stalked  – and I would back this one up in court if challenged — THROUGH other people, and several of them.  In order to accommodate this, I have ceased significant contact with these people, explaining why.  AFTER all this, my daughters disappeared on an overnight visitation, and they were NOT informed of all the allegations in print and in person by their parent about the situation.  This was not done out of love for the girls, I am sure, but as a hostage taking in this unwrapping situation.}}  {{Excuse me…..}}

    And while 22 of the homicide attempts occurred when women were trying to end their relationships, most women said they were breaking up for reasons other than violence.

    Classic risk factors for an attempted homicide by an intimate partner include escalating episodes or severity of violence, threats with or use of weapons, alcohol or drug use, and violence toward children, Nicolaidis noted. While every woman included in the report experienced at least one of these standard signs, they were clearly not all “classic” cases, she added.

    “The problem is that we often expect women to come to us describing a life filled with many or all of these risk factors, when in fact there may only be a few (risk factors) buried beneath the surface,” Nicolaidis said.

    In an accompanying editorial, Dr. Lorrie Elliott of the University of Chicago Medical Center writes that these findings demonstrate that counselors need to recognize that “any level” of physical violence or controlling behavior from a partner can signal a woman’s life is at risk.

    {{True, BUT – — BUT – - – it’s judges, and law enforcement that I’ve found need to recognize this, as I did since I left the guy until now.}}

    “Curricula on domestic violence should be revised to reflect these findings,” she notes.

    {{WHOSE curricula?  Because family law pretty much is being “revised” as a profession to dilute this awareness, from my experience.}}

    2004, DV Death Review Team, CANADA

    ANNUAL REPORT TO THE CHIEF CORONER: CASE REVIEW OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DEATHS, 2002, Al J. C. O’Marra, BA, MA, LLB, LLM, Domestic Violence Death Review Committee, Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services, Government of Ontario, CA. Copyright © 2004 Queen’s Printer for Ontario.

    2006, VPC, East Coast USA

    Washington, D.C. nonprofit

    Homicide Data Analysis

    VPC Theme:  Gun control (I believe), and Alaska is the Worst

    ALASKA RANKS #1 IN RATE OF WOMEN MURDERED BY MEN ACCORDING TO VPC STUDY RELEASED EACH YEAR FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH IN OCTOBER, Violence Policy Center, Washington, DC: September 20, 2006. When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2004 Homicide Data – Females Murdered by Males in Single Vilctim / Single Offender Incidents.

    2007 Boston Globe,

    “Special Report”

    Theme:  Why they kill; Promotion:  Upcoming book

    CONTROL ISSUES DRIVE MEN TO KILL SPOUSES – SPECIAL REPORT, Laura Crimaldi, Boston Herald, Boston, MA: September 3, 2007. Copyright© 2007 Boston Herald Inc. Why Do They Kill? Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners.   

    Batterers who use lethal force against their partners are engaged in a losing game of control that pushes them to kill because otherwise they have no chance of getting their partner to submit, according to a veteran psychologist.

    {{As “Let’s Get Honest,” I chime in with my opinion:

    Except in LITERAL self-defense (not, defense of the ego, or self-concept), as in cops responding to domestic disputes, or a person physically assaulted in certain situations, and even then Killing is a choice, just as abuse is, or any other — especially repeated — criminal behavior.  The mark of a person is what he or she will or will NOT allow him or herself to be “pushed” to do.  PERIOD.  This is pyschology talk, and while it’s true, it still falls short, making linguistic excuses.}}

    {{{JUST a note:  For at least — at LEAST — SOME major monotheistic religions (all 3, I believe), this is conceived of a divinely-ordained, and a requirement of women.  ONE of these religions means “Submission” (I’m told).  ANOTHER, this mandate is taken out of context (of itss text), but in my case, was continually “an excuse for the abuse.”  ANY policies dealing with such men will have to deal with the issue that to them, failing to control “their women” is sometimes genuinely conceived of as having failed their God.  Hence, the killing, to “win.”  I have been personally (before separation) warned never to oppose this man or he woudl “escalated” til he wins.  From what I can see, that hasn’t changed yet, that dynamic, and there is a track record to display evidence. 


    When here comes a venue, family law, that tells us to “reconcile” parenting, or almost anything else of importance, with a person holding such a viewpoint, it is basically consigning the relationship, the children, and the target parent, which will be the woman under this religious view, to defending her own life, as the courts aren’t going to.  It’s an intolerable situation, and transmits these ideas down, another generation.}}

    David Adams, co-founder and co-director of Cambridge-based Emerge, a batterer’s program, is the author of “Why Do They Kill? Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners,” to be published this month by Vanderbilt University Press.

    ((FYI:  NOTE:  The other Co-founder and co-director, I believe, was Lundy Bancroft, who I often cite, have posted on, and have a link to.  }}

    In the book, Adams identifies five types of lethal batterers: the jealous partner, the suicidal partner, the career criminal, the substance abuser and the materially motivated partner.

    Adams interviewed 31 men who killed their female partners as well as women who were nearly killed by their batterers. {{From the Horse’s mouths.  If reported well, I’d listen!}}

    He said the men who resorted to fatal force were “possessive,” “more controlling” and tended to come from households where they witnessed abusive fathers beat their mothers. At some point in their lives, the men decided to mold their behavior after their father’s behavior, he said.

    “For many of the killers that I interviewed, some of them said that they had in effect lost – that they had lost a relationship, lost the partner that they only fought to control and the only thing left was to kill,” Adams said.  “It was the ultimate act of control, but also an ultimate act of defeat.

    June, 2009, Public Health Perspective;

    The effect of TV News items on IPV deaths

    Conclusion: Given the results observed in the case of IPV-related news, t

    here is an evident need to develop a journalistic style guide in order to determine what type of information is recommended due to the potential positive or negative effects.

    Keywords: battered women, copycat, femicide, mass media.

    I’ll be back tomorrow.  BUT — do we think there is a need to study the topic some more?  Or to take a woman seriously when

    she expresses this concern?

    I am so far beyond “reporting” or being aware of these things, PAST the point where I realize who is not interested, and now

    working on the WHY are they not interested in the places that have the MOST authority to do something about it.

    In the meanwhile, self-defense and safety awareness skills count.  A lot.

    Written by familycourtmatters

    August 5, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Posted in After She Speaks Up - Reporting Child Sexual Abuse, Cast, Script, Characters, Scenery, Stage Directions, Domestic Violence vs Family Law, History of Family Court, Lethality Indicators - in News, Organizations, Foundations, Associations NGO Hybrids, Vocabulary Lessons, in Studies

    Tagged with custody, Declaration of Independence/Bill of Rights, domestic violence, family annihilation, family law, Intimate partner violence, Self-Defense from DV, Studying Humans

    Note: Cross posted from [blogger angelzfury] Battered Women, Battered Children, Custody Abuse.

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    RILYA ALERT for Brianna Rhode missing July 21.2009 from Charlotte-Mecklenburg NC.Special Victims Division 704-336-2311  

    Posted by Claudine Dombrowski

    Note: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Battered Mothers, Child Custody, Abuse and Murder.

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    Peasintheirpods Children---------->RILYA ALERT for Brianna Rhode missing July 21.2009 from Charlotte-Mecklenburg NC. Please call Special Victims Division 704-336-2311
    Crime Stoppers: 704-334.1600


    Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,Note: Cross posted from [wp ridezstormz] Battered Mothers, Child Custody, Abuse and Murder.

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